Kiss Kiss and All That

Because Ugly Dogs Are Just So Darn Cute

2006-09-29T00:08:00.000-07:00

You may have heard of the "World's Ugliest Dog Competition," which crowns the scrawniest, wartiest, butt-ugliest pooches in the country. Well, tonight the Animal Planet channel is airing this year's contest in all its glory at 9 p.m. and Archie and Elwood, two Chinese Cresteds seen above, are among the dogs in the running. I could tell you who won but I don't want to spoil the surprise! To see the actual dog judging in action, check out this slightly corny video from years past ...

Related Link: Vote for World's Ugliest Dog

Nick Carter: Paris Is a 'Vampire'!

2006-09-28T23:19:00.000-07:00

"Backstreet Boy" NICK CARTER admitted in a radio interview Thursday that he was so "scared" of hoochie girlfriend PARIS HILTON that HE held out for "2 ½ weeks" before giving it up! "The sex vid was out (I didn’t watch it till I broke up with her), and I was like, 'Is this some freakin' sex bitch?'" he says.

Nick and li'l bro AARON also told HOWARD STERN on the air that in the beginning, Paris was so eager to impress him she "cleaned his carpets" -- and we don’t mean the ones in his pants!

"She's a good actress, I'll give it to her," he says. "In the very beginning, she was literally cleaning my carpet in my apartment trying to act all domestic. Before you know it, a month goes by and she's got her nose all up in the air like, 'Who are you?'"

Nick says he met her at the restaurant Koi and describes Paris and her L.A. posse as soulless, spoiled "vampires," who sleep all day and party all night: "I was like am in 'Blade'? Is the blood gonna come out of the sprinklers and they're gonna feed on each other?'" He says he had the last laugh however, when he cheated on her after about 4 months. "I just went on a rampage and it was kind of a shock to her ego and that's basically what happened. I had the balls to admit it to her. I said, 'I did this, this and this,' and she was like, 'Noooo, God!'"

I'd almost feel bad for the heirhead except that she's now dating rocker TRAVIS BARKER, who has only been separated from his wife SHANNA MOAKLER for about 30 seconds!

Technorati: paris + entertainment + news + nick carter + howard stern

Um, This is Modeling?

2006-09-28T11:44:00.000-07:00

Far be it from me to criticize the wise and powerful TYRA BANKS and her "Top Model" crew, but the "hair wars" photo shoot on last night's show was hilariously toe up! Tyra enlisted a team of "weavologists," who compete in urban hair shows, to create some insanely over the top hair dos (hair "dids"?) for the model wannabes, including this birdbrained get-up and a "haystack" hair don't with a spinning windmill on top. I busted out laughing when twin AMANDA (or is it MICHELLE?), seen above, joked that she looked like a broke-ass "Toucan Sam"! She was lucky, however, compared to poor BROOKE, below, who got stuck with this 4th of July contraption ...

But in the end, it was cute, little MEGAN, dolled up like an unfortunate Cocker Spaniel ("Spaceballs" anyone?), who was cut from the competition. Aww, but she's so fluffy and cute! Hey, if she's lucky, maybe pocket pooch lover PARIS HILTON will adopt her ...

Ashlee's Good Side

2006-09-26T17:26:00.000-07:00

ASHLEE SIMPSON wowed London crowds with her freaky gymnastic display in the new run of "Chicago," which opened last night. JESSICA's lil sis plays my namesake, Roxie Hart, in the stage musical and says she was blown away by the, like, deep themes in the play. "The play absolutely is all about celebrity and wanting to be famous and have your name in the papers," she explained. "In that sense, it's been kind of cool because I've really got to connect to that." Like, totally, Ash!

Fergie: This Is Her Brain on Drugs

2006-09-24T18:09:00.000-07:00

Days after admitting she used to be a meth-head, pop ho FERGIE is starting to dress like your average crack head. Here she is on MTV's TRL flapping her bra....

... and a few days later, wearing half-zipped boots out on the streets of New York before a taping of DAVID LETTERMAN. Won't someone please help Fergie get the help she so desperately needs?

Friday Funnies: MC Alex Trebek Sippin' on Gin and Juice!

2006-09-22T10:54:00.000-07:00

"Jeopardy" host ALEX TREBEK raps about as well as WILLIAM SHATNER, which makes it even funnier to hear him read lyrics by SNOOP, LL COOL J and the BEASTIE BOYS as part of the game's "MC Trebek" category.

Kill the Stylist! Two Starlets, One Dress

2006-09-21T11:19:00.000-07:00

Oh, someone is going to pay! CHRISTINA APPLEGATE and RACHEL GRIFFITHS both showed up in the same frock last night at Hollywood's "Women in Film" brouhaha and you know how testy that can be. Even stranger, who would have thought "Six Feet Under"'s nympho would actually look better than TV's Kelly Bundy in the Hugo Boss gown?

I have to admit, I've never understood the KATE MOSS fascination and this Cirque Du Soleil dominatrix outfit isn't helping ...

And you can take the poor orphaned girl out of the Russian block country ...

... but you can't keep her from dressing like a Soviet streetwalker! Yep, that's once-cute Olympic skating medalist OKSANA BAIUL at NY Fashion Week. Please tell me that's not an actual Care Bear on her shirt!!

Clay Answers the Gay Question A Thousand Different Ways

2006-09-20T11:24:00.000-07:00

Pop elf CLAY AIKEN is opening up in the new issue of People magazine, on stands Friday, in a very, very impish way. After weeks of silence, he finally addresses the gay tabloid rumors and those grainy photos of a Clay lookalike stripping on the Web. When he saw the photos, he says he thought, "'That doesn't look like me, but then I thought, 'Well, a little bit.' But it's not. So I laughed at it. But what was different and what bothered me was that the rumors kept on. I would have friends over at the house who I went to high school with and there was always, like, this little gorilla in the room."

Hey, what did he just call RUBEN STUDDARD?

But, seriously, when asked directly by the mag if he is, in fact, biting the pillows, Clay really starts dancing:

"What do you say to that question? You know what it's like? It's like when I was 8. I remember something would get broken in the house and Mom and Dad would call me in and say, 'Did you do this?' Well, it didn’t matter what I said. The only thing they would believe was yes. I used to think, 'Why would they ask? They think I did it. It doesn’t matter what I say.' That is what I've discovered. It doesn’t matter what I say. People are going to believe what they want."

Well, Clay, I'm no expert, but I suppose you could just say, "I'm gay," and be done with it. But hey, that's just me!

For more, visit www.people.com!

And Swirl! New 'Top Model' Debuts Tonight

2006-09-19T23:17:00.000-07:00

A new cycle of "America's Next Top Model" starts tonight at 8 with a two-hour premiere and a whole new crop of hopeless smalltown girls just waiting to be transformed! I got a peek at the premiere and, as usual, all our fave stereotypes are present: the Bitchy girl, the Stripper, the Teen Mom, the narrowminded Republican, the Hard Luck Case and - -- eek! -- the TWINS. But wait ... this is TOP MODEL, not "The Tyra Banks Show," so some of these biatches will have to go! Find out whom tonight on "The CW."

Steve-O Grateful to Nicole Richie for Teasing His Jiblets

2006-09-19T22:35:00.000-07:00

Professional "Jackass" STEVE-O dished all the pathetic details about his hook-up with NICOLE RICHIE to HOWARD STERN on Tuesday, saying he did spend the night with the lollipop-headed heirhead but was too chicken to make a move! So he jerked off to her backside.

"She had her back to me," he said, "and she was dead asleep when I rubbed the first one out. I was, like, trying to wake her up when I was rubbing one out ... and ultimately I squeezed her hard enough the second two times she was totally awake. She never rolled over to face me." Far from being offended by this total rejection however, Steve-O said he was grateful she was even there. "I was being so careful not to offend her in anyway because I wanted to be in those tabloid magazines!" he says.

"I loved it!" he continues. "She said, 'I just broke off an engagement,' and the truth is she wanted some publicity for something other than being skinny. It was a big publicity stunt. She would come pick me up. I don’t drive. I think she called the paparazzi too. These muther effers were coming from all directions. I'm even giving interviews to the video paparazzi, and I thought this is the kind of scrutiny I WANT to be under. I want to be in the tabloids! I fuckin' loved it. I have no hard feelings. I don’t think she has any hard feelings for me."

As for Nicole's extra-crispy chicken bones, Steve-O says he has no problem with her skinny physique: "I didn't care what she fuckin' ate. I think she looks a lot damn better skinny than fat!"

Why Would This Woman's Son Be Depressed?

2006-09-19T11:02:00.000-07:00

No one was more shocked than me about the death of ANNA NICOLE's son last week in the Bahamas after he, according to his mom, wouldn't "wake up," while visiting her in her maternity hospital room. (She delivered a baby girl named HANNAH.) Now, the big news is that he was on the anti-depressant, Lexapro, at the time of his mysterious death. Duh, anyone? If my mom was a slurry walking hangover like Anna, I'd be snorting anti-depressants like cocaine!

Britney Squirts Out Another Feder-Billy!

2006-09-13T00:51:00.000-07:00

Remember when BRITNEY SPEARS was an adorable pop tart with a sparkling smile and a size 0 waist? Well those days are ovuh, fool! Zitney is a mama again, having given birth today to another baby boy. Don't get me wrong, I think SEAN PRESTON is the bee's knees, but how is Brit gonna carry her cheetos and Malt Liquor now with two handfuls of man-babies? K-FED, if you're out there, please have a heart, and leave the woman's love canal be for two seconds!

Fergie Likes Her Meth, Her Meth, Her Meth, Her Meth

2006-09-13T00:39:00.000-07:00

I always had a feeling FERGIE had a weakness for the pipe, and now she's confessing in Time magazine she was pimp-slapped by crystal meth! "It was the hardest boyfriend I ever had to break up with," she tells the magazine. "I dug deep as to why I got there. It's the drug that's addicting. But it's why you start doing it in the first place that's interesting. A lot of it was being a child actor; I learned to suppress feelings." In case you were wondering, Fergie is really STACY FERGUSON, star of the goofy song and dance show "Kids Incorporated" from 1984-'89. Yes, the show was so bad it made "Full House" look like "the Sopranos," but could it really drive you to the meth???

Congrats, Maria! Tennis's New Girly Girl

2006-09-10T14:18:00.000-07:00

MARIA SHARAPOVA slaughtered JUSTINE HENIN-HARDENNE (6-4, 6-4) Saturday to win the U.S. Open. After watching burly, she-males like LINDSAY DAVENPORT and MONICA SELES rule the courts for so long, it's so much fun to see a girly 19-year-old like Maria take center court. Here's Maria posing with her trophy (above) and happily imitating fashion idol AUDREY HEPBURN ("Funny Face"). Nike custom-made Audrey-like outfits for the spokesbabe, including her final, all-black, tennis dress, which included a round collar, black bow around the waist and even crystals for "sparkle"! She accessorized it with her usual gold, dangly earrings and a black bow in her hair. Maria reportedly ripped out pages from fashion magazines and showed them to the senior product designer for Nike, who used them as inspiration to create the looks. Her selections added up to a style that was "classic Givenchy." "The look of it was basically like a little black dress for going out on the town," Maria told the NY Times. "Night matches in New York are kind of the 'it' thing, so you can do something a little more crazy and extravagant and get away with it." Yay, tennis is girly again!

Thank You, Hollywood P.D. For Ridding the Streets of Filthy Heirheads!

2006-09-07T17:22:00.000-07:00

Joy, joy! Cops finally pulled over professional party hooch PARIS HILTON 12:30 a.m. for driving erratically and cuffed the biatch. Cops gave her a field sobriety test, and Paris blew a .08. In California, driving with a .08 blood alcohol level is the minimum level for DUI. The heirhead was arrested and taken to the LAPD Hollywood division, where she was photographed and booked. As per usual, her responsible lil sis NICKY came by with boy toy KEVIN CONNOLLY ("Entourage") to spring Paris. Today she called into the RYAN SEACREST show and said she was starvin' after shooting a music video (in which I'm sure she doesn't sing) and that she had one "margarita" and just wanted an In 'N' Out Burger. Hmm, wonder what the Carl's Jr. folks think of that one!

Travolta Flies the Bi-Friendly Skies

2006-09-06T23:54:00.000-07:00

Why, Danny Zuko, why?

Suri Cruise: Think Nice Things or Her Alien Brethren Will Vaporize Yer A$$

2006-09-06T23:37:00.000-07:00

It's entirely possible I may have had too much Kahlua when I wrote that headline but I can't stop thinking about that scene from "War of the Worlds"! As you've no doubt heard, TOM and KATIE agreed to let their darling alien infant be photographed by Vanity Fair and she is quite the adorable blue-eyed, black-haired little moppet. CBS Evening News scooped the world with these photos on their nightly newscast. Let me be the first to say that she doesn't look at all extraterrestrial, even with those strangely almond-shaped eyes that are boring, boring into my skull ....

Before His Mail Order Bride, Emilio Was a Malibu Pimp!

2006-09-05T17:42:00.000-07:00

After marrying slurry PAULA ABDUL (eek!) and dating saggy-kneed DEMI MOORE, who can blame EMILIO ESTEVEZ for being a bachelor for so long? At the Venice Film Fest, where he's showing his big-haired biopic of the Kennedy era, "Bobby," "The Repo Man" announced he's engaged to girlfriend SONJA MAGDEVSKI -- hmm, mail-order bride, anyone? This will surely be grim news for a busty blonde friend of mine who actually had high hopes of landing Emilio for herself! She dragged me to his Malibu estate, Casa Emilio, in 2002, hoping to be inducted into the Sheen empire -- and we did have a grand old time. Emilio makes a mean apple-tini and has a ping pong table on his patio. Thank God, CHARLIE SHEEN wasn't in the hizzay or there might have been a different kind of ping-pong show on hand! Alas, Emilio bedded my pal, but nothing ever developed. She said he was a bit of a poser anyway, claiming he was "too famous" to go out on dinner dates, and therefore insisting that he always come over for homecooked meals. As if!

So Long, Andre!

2006-09-05T12:47:00.000-07:00

Who knew tennis could be so emotional? Tennis great ANDRE AGASSI retired from tennis this weekend with lots of tears and a heartfelt farewell to the New York fans of the U.S. Open. "The scoreboard said I lost today, but what the scoreboard didn't say is what it is I have found," he said, his lower lip quivering and tears rolling from his big brown teddy bear eyes. "Over the last 21 years, I have found you, and I will take you, and the memory of you, with me for the rest of my life." I'm sad to see Andre leave the game, but not as sad as I was to see him shave his mullet in the late '90s! He used to be the bad boy of tennis with his black tennis threads, neon shorts and ratty blonde locks. But he later joined the tennis establishment, shaving his head and wearing all white. Guess everyone has to grow up sometime. Good luck and farewell, Andre! This is how I'll always remember 'ya (foto from 1990) ...

Apprentice Bloodbath! Carolyn Axed

2006-08-31T12:22:00.000-07:00

So it's like that, eh, Donald? CAROLYN KEPCHER is usually the axewoman in "The Apprentice" boardroom, but today she found her own head on the chopping block! DONALD TRUMP fired his cool, right-hand blonde for "excessive self-promotion," according to the NY Post. (Self promotion? Hmm, what would The Donald know about that?) Carolyn was the chief operating officer of two of Trump's golf courses and his chief snitch, always reporting back to "The Donald" on the teams as they performed their weekly challenges. Ever since her lucrative TV gig, she's performed speaking engagements, made a number of talk-show appearances and two years ago wrote a book called "Carolyn 101."

Fun With Treadmills: My New Video Heroes

2006-08-30T17:05:00.000-07:00

I never really dug treadmills until I saw kooky Chicago band OK GO's new video for "Here it Goes Again." The guys strut and jump flawlessly between four treadmills all while singing -- and tomorrow night they're going to perform their death-defying act live at 8 p.m. on the MTV VMAs. Burn rubber, bros!

Matt Leinart Gonna Be a Baby Daddy!

2006-08-29T17:51:00.000-07:00

Hunky ballplayer and junior pimp MATT LEINART is expecting -- and it's not PARIS's, KRISTIN CAVALLARI's or even b-frie NICK LACHEY's! The former USC QB-turned-Arizona Cardinal, who's been spotted squiring Hollywood's most in-demand blondes, has apparently knocked up women's hoops player BRYNN CAMERON (See below). He's 23 and she's all of 20. I have two words for Matt: Pre-nup!

Paris' Album a 'Certified Flop'

2006-08-29T16:59:00.000-07:00

Record industry geeks are calling PARIS HILTON's debut album a "certified flop" after it sold just 75,000 copies in the U.S. during its first week out. How bad is that? Well, consider that X-TINA's new disc sold 320,000 and you get the drift. Tongues are wagging that the heir-head is devastated and that producer SCOTT STORCH is calling her hourly to berate her. Poor Paris! Guess she'll have to give up her lifelong dream of singing and embrace her 9-to-5 grind of giving head and spreading herpes.

Technorati: paris hilton + entertainment + news

Alyssa Milano Unveils Cute Ballpark Tops

2006-08-29T15:35:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought ALYSSA MILANO's legacy to the world would be bad "Who's the Boss" and "Charmed" re-runs, girlfriend has surprised me by launching her own fashion line of cute, sporty tops girls can wear to baseball games. "Women should be able to look stylish while cheering on their favourite team," she says. Go on, girl! If you're a sports fan or your boyfriend has ever dragged you to a baseball game, you know it's almost impossible to look stylish and sporty -- esp with all those goofy foam fingers and giant cups of beer floating around. Alyssa's tops, called TOUCH by Alyssa Milano, look like they come in kimono styles and even cinched blouses with various team logos "tastefully" displayed. She even has jeans! I for one am psyched to see the line when it comes out in stores Spring 2007.

Kill the Stylist! Emmy Dresses and Hot Messes

2006-08-28T14:54:00.000-07:00

SANDRA OH-NO!

Austin Powers, eat your heart out! SIMON COWELL's manly chest rug is all real, baby.

Did Dr. Meredith skin Barney to make her purple velvet dress?

I almost "auf'd" when I saw HEIDI KLUM's pregnant hooker dress!

JEREMY PIVEN was heard to remark, "They're always after me Lucky Charms!"

Britney Now More Embarrassing Than K-Fed

2006-08-25T14:55:00.000-07:00

You gotta give BRITNEY SPEARS credit. The girl just can't stop acting a fool! Here she is at the Emmy shopping suites (where desperate products come to give celebs free shit) wearing a white top hat and throwing some ridiculous gang signs like her hubby, Vanilla Ice. Oops, I mean, K-FED-HER-A-LINE. Word to ya mother, Brit!

Kristin Snubs Jessica at Teen Choice

2006-08-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

Behind all the love and support floating around onstage at the Teen Choice Awards, there was some serious diss-ing going on! "Laguna Beach" hottie and NICK LACHEY rebound babe KRISTIN CAVALLARI fled the red carpet after seeing JESSICA SIMPSON flounce her way, according to Open All Night Media, www.oanmedia.com, who shot this great candid photo of the about-face in action. Hmmm, somehow I doubt L.C. has this much of an entourage!

Music for the Blind?

2006-08-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

Deaf ... and dumb?

After all the buzz, PARIS HILTON's album finally drops today. "I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it's so good," the heir-head tells Blender magazine of the new disc. Have you heard it? If so, let me know what you think! I'm sure they had to do a lot of mixing to plump up that squeaky voice, but hey, it can't be worse than anything K-FED could cough up! "Don't hate cuz I'm a superstar, yo!" LOL.

'Snakes' Winds Up B.O. Roadkill

2006-08-21T10:57:00.000-07:00

So much for the hype! Like most reptiles, 'Snakes on a Plane' died an ignominious death at the theaters this weekend. The high concept but low turnout flick opened with a weak $13.8 million for second place, unless you count the studio's desperate attempt to get beancounters to include their Thursday night ticket sales of about $1.5 million. (Apparently, moviegoers would rather see 'Talladega Nights' WILL FERRELL prancing around in his tidy whities than those "mother-effin' snakes on that mother-effin' plane!") Today, the Wow Report chronicled the snakes tragic overdose outside the Viper Room last night, and the movie's star SAMUEL JACKSON is reportedly calling all ticket-buyers personally to apologize for the debacle.

Oh, Snap! Teen Choice Pics

2006-08-20T16:59:00.000-07:00

Hostess with the Mostess ... spray-on tanner?
And here's her mom ... oops! That's NELLY FURTADO.

The former Mrs. BRODY JENNER! (Thank God, more Brody for me!)

Jess shows off her new "grill"

While BRITNEY shows off "the twins"!

Teen Choice Awards Could Get Juicy!

2006-08-20T16:11:00.000-07:00

It could either be a night of celeb catfights or very special reunions on tonight's "Teen Choice Awards." Either way, someone's gonna wind up in tears back in their dressing room! (Let's just hope it's KEVIN FEDERJERK, who's supposed to perform his new single on national TV for the first time ever live.) Rumored smoochie boodges JESSICA SIMPSON and DANE COOK are hosting the event live tonight at 8 p.m. EST on FOX. And Jess' famous ex NICK LACHEY is expected in the house (he's nominated for male hottie) while his current girlfriend, Jess archenemy VANESSA MINNILLO, is nominated for choice TV personality. Will there be a Jess/Vanessa face-off? Will K-Spend get booed offstage? Keep checking back here!

From rehearsals:

Haley Sees 'Dope People'!

2006-08-17T14:03:00.000-07:00

HALEY JOEL OSMENT's new best friend is the Righteous Bush, according to the LAPD. Following his car crack-up last month, "The Sixth Sense" star is now being charged with "one misdemeanor count each of driving under the influence, driving while having a .08 percent or higher blood alcohol content with the special allegation of having a .15 percent or higher blood alcohol content, and possession of marijuana while driving. Puff the dragon once for me, bro!

Related News:
Haley Joel Car Crash

Mel Skates Off: No Jail!

2006-08-17T12:33:00.000-07:00

Mad Max strikes again! While everyone's busy obsessing about JONBENET RAMSEY, MEL GIBSON quietly pleaded no contest to those drunk-driving charges in Malibu. His attorneys sneakily moved up his arraignment to today and then argued for a super light sentence: no jail time, 3 years probation, $1,300 fine, a year's worth of weekly AA meetings and a "restricted license" for 90 days. No comment was available from Sgt. "Sugar Tits"! (The L.A. Sherrifs' deputy he nicknamed during his drunken tirade in the Malibu drunk tank.)

Fresh Meat! Tyra's New 'Top Model' Wannabes

2006-08-15T15:26:00.000-07:00

Just when summer TV started to look downright dreary, The CW (formerly UPN) has announced the new "America's Next Top Model" lineup! And boy, do they look -- young! And the 13 finalists (in no particular order) are:

A.J., Student, 20, Sacramento, Calif; Amanda, Bookstore Sales Associate, 18, Anaheim, Calif.'Anchal, Sales Clerk, 19, Homestead, Fla.; Brooke, Student, 18, Keller, Texas; CariDee, Photographer, 21, Fargo, N.D.; Christian, Bank Teller, 19, Columbia, S.C.; Eugena, Customer Service Rep., 21, Palmdale, Calif. Jaeda, Student, 18, Parkersburg, Iowa; Megg, retail Clerk, 18, Los Angeles; Megan, Bartender, 23, San Francisco; Melrose, Fashion Designer, 23, San Francisco; Michelle, Student, 18, Anaheim, Calif.' Monique, Marketing Representative, 19, Chicago.

So who are this year's divas and drama queens? Can't wait to find out! The seventh-cycle of "America’s Next Top Model" premieres on Wednesday, September 20 (8:00-10:00 PM, EST/PST) on The CW. (Photo courtesy: "DeYonker/The CW")

Can You Spot Dr. Phil's New Daughter in Law?

2006-08-15T13:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, one of these Playboy Playmates is now the daughter-in-law of TV's top down-home head-shrinker, DR. PHIL. ERICA DAHM, a triplet, married Dr. Phil's son JAY McGRAW on Saturday at the good doc's Beverly Hills home -- and Phil was the best man.

Jay, 26, met Erica and her sisters on the set of a reality show called "Renovate My Family," where she was listed as a "construction expert," but, in fact, she and her sisters were called in as eye candy to demolish houses in need of refurbishing. Before that, she was a December 1998 Playmate with her sisters NICOLE and JACLYN -- the mag's first triplet spread ever! Can't you just imagine Jay introducing his fiancee to "Mr. Tell It Like It Is" family values? Kind of a PR nightmare, no? I mean, "Son, what were you thinkin'?!"

Technorati: entertainment + news + dr. phil + tv + erica dahm + jay mcgraw

What Happened to Princess Leia?

2006-08-14T18:16:00.000-07:00

Help her, Obi Wan Kenobi! You're her only hope. CARRIE FISHER beamed over to Comedy Central's WILLIAM SHATNER Roast on Sunday looking like she'd been run over by the Millenium Falcon! Mr. Sulu, GEORGE TAKEI, was also in the house ...

Along with Spock and Cap'n Kirk's unholy "Love Child" ...

Yep, ANDY DICK! And then there was the guest of honor himself ...
The hilarious hijinks are set to air at 10 p.m., Aug. 20, on Comedy Central.

Technorati: entertainment + news + shatner + tv + comedy + star wars + star trek

Kate Hudson Leaves Ugly, Bearded Dude

2006-08-14T14:46:00.000-07:00

KATE HUDSON announced today that she is officially separating from that bug-eyed guy from The Black Crowes. I never did quite get the chemistry between these two; I'm pretty sure da chronic was the only thing keeping them together! Sure, "Hard to Handle" and "Remedy" were pretty catchy back in the day but what has Chris done since then? Anyway, I wish them both the best of luck, and their unfortunate horse-faced-looking kid, RYDER, too! Awwww ...

Technorati: entertainment + news + kate hudson + tv + black crowes + music

X-Tina Still Bashing Moo-Riah!

2006-08-13T14:47:00.000-07:00

"One of my main goals is to try and help women to love each other. I think it's really sad women seem to feel the need to be so competitive and jealous and threatened," wise woman CHRISTINA AGUILERA preaches in the new Allure magazine, on stands Aug. 22. Sooo, I guess MARIAH CAREY isn't a woman then? In the very next paragraph, X-tina takes yet another stab at Mimi since her GQ diss.

In GQ mag earlier this year, Christina moaned that her childhood idol "was never cool to me. To the point that one time we were at a party and I think she got really drunk and she had just really derogatory things to say to me… But it was at that time that she had that breakdown, so she might have been very medicated."

When asked how she feels about Moo-riah today, the kinder, gentler Christina says, "She hasn't been nice to me, no, but, honestly, I don’t want to give her any more attention by even talking about it. Like I said, sometimes honesty is my downfall."

Funny, X-tina, I thought this was your downfall ...

Or this ...

Or, EEK, remember THIS?

Technorati: entertainment + news + christina aguilera + tv + mariah carey + music

That's a Lotta Dough!

2006-08-13T14:19:00.000-07:00

Back up the Brinks truck! JAMIE GOLD won the $12 million grand prize Friday in the World Series of Poker Main Event. A "former Hollywood agent," Gold says he spanked the fallen players in Texas Hold 'Em with his mad bluffing skills, and credited his big win to knowing "how to read people." (Maybe this is the guy who sold "Miami Vice: The Movie" -- OW.) After winning, Gold (can't be his real name) took his 10 percent agent's fee and told the losers to "Hug it out, bitches!" LOL.

Technorati: entertainment + news + poker + tv + entourage + las vegas

Friday Funnies: Leonid the Magnificent Vs. 'The Hoff'

2006-08-11T14:25:00.000-07:00

The green-feathered, hula-hoop-shaking, gay Transylvanian sensation, "LEONID the Magnificent," returned to "America's Got Talent" for another hilarious performance and you've never seen so many straight audience-members cringing and gagging on national TV in your life. But in case that's not funny enough, the garter-wearing Leonid flirts outrageously with judge DAVID "The Hoff" HASSELHOFF. What is Leonid? Imagine if the "Rocky Horror Picture Show"'s Dr. Frankenfurter had sex with a green parrot -- this would be their love child. Zaaaank you!

Technorati: entertainment + news + hasselhoff + tv + america's got talent + leonid

Why Can't Vince Stop Crying? Maybe He Read This Story

2006-08-09T11:25:00.000-07:00

Us Weekly reports in a very fishy cover story that ever since VINCE VAUGHN popped the question to his on-screen, off-screen squeeze JENNIFER ANISTON two months ago he just CAN'T STOP CRYING ABOUT IT. So many things feel wrong about this shlocky piece I hardly know where to begin! But let's give it a shot, shall we? First, we'll start with where the alleged proposal took place. According to the mag, on stands Friday, Vince proposed to his honey-haired mama on June 27 after a romantic getaway to La Casa de Las Tetas, better known as the Mexican villa owned by "Girls Gone Wild" titty mogul JOE FRANCIS. (Because, let's face it, nothing sets the stage for romance like visiting an estate built on the backs of topless, underage girls on roofies! Right, ladies?) Upon the couple's return, the wedding crasher reportedly got down on one knee and presented Jen with a $500,000 diamond ring that the mag points out was way, way "BIGGER" than the measly $200,000 one BRAD PITT gave Jen. "Vince almost cries whenever he tells the story of the proposal," the mag finally quotes a "source" as saying. Oh, please. Vince can't possibly be this much of a pussy. Think it's bogus? You tell me!>

Technorati: entertainment + news + aniston + gossip + vince vaughn

Proud Dad Brad Loves Changing Poopy Diapers

2006-08-08T12:57:00.000-07:00

Professional "manny" BRAD PITT reportedly loves all things that come with being a new dad, Us mag reports, even those less "manly" moments. "He'll get in there, do the diapers, clean up the spit," a source says. "He's been looking forward to being a dad his whole life. He just loves all the little stuff." The mag, on stands Friday, also says Brad reported to the "Ocean's Thirteen" set on Aug. 1 and has been cornering everyone on the set to show them impromptu baby slide shows on his Treo.

Related news:

Brangie's Baby Drops, World's Ills Cured
Angelina's Dad Begs to See Shiloh
Are Brangie the New Taliban?

Technorati: brad pitt + entertainment + celebrities + gossip + movies + angelina + oceans 13

Why Is Vanessa Minnillo Humping This Guy?

2006-08-07T13:34:00.000-07:00

What would her current squeeze NICK LACHEY say? MTV VJ VANESSA MINNILLO was so happy to see this guy last week on "TRL" that she dry-humped him on stage.

So who is he?? Click here to find out!

Britney: Stoned or Just Southern?

2006-08-06T16:46:00.000-07:00

An old video of BRITNEY SPEARS during her "Chaotic" period has surfaced casting the Bride of Federline in not such a charming light. (Hard to believe, right?) In this bootleg video, K-FED tapes the "Toxic" cutie with a bad case of the munchies, chowing and burping her way through a slurred monologue about movies, time travel and how she's "missing out on everythaaaang."

Related News:
Harper's Editors Horrified by Brit's Hair
My Brush with Britney
Is Britney Really the 'Simpsons' Hillbilly?
Damage Control for Britney!
Oops! Britney's Baby Goes Boom
Britney Hires Midgets for K-Fed

Technorati: britney + entertainment + celebrities + gossip

You Heard It Here First: Watch 'Gene Simmons Family Jewels'!

2006-08-05T18:18:00.000-07:00

Trust me, you don't wanna miss the new reality series GENE SIMMONS: Family Jewels" when it premieres Monday night at 10 on A&E. I recently got a sneak peek at the first three shows and they are a total gas! (And I'm not even a fan. I consider myself more of a KELLY CLARKSON/JAMIROQUAI girl, dontchaknow.) Anyhoo, the series spotlights KISS's most notorious front man, his longtime companion, 1970s Playmate SHANNON TWEED, and their two teenagers SOPHIE, 13, and NICK, 17. There are lots of voyeuristic thrills: such as a glimpse inside Gene's undergound home vault crammed with Kiss action figures, comic books, platinum records, masks and more. Plus you get to see him fondle a lot of groupies AND clean the cat box.

This series works where "The Osbournes" didn't because (a) you can actually understand what Gene is saying, (b) he's hilarious and self-deprecating, and (c) Shannon and the kids don't let him get away with any of that rockstar posturing. There are some obviously scripted gimmicks: For instance, the first episode follows Shannon and the kids' attempt to surprise Gene with an impromptu Jewish wedding. But this is a hilarious inside joke b/c Shannon and Gene have been together for 23 years, have 2 kids and have NEVER married. And as his kids put it, he's "totally WHIPPED." (In fact, on the HOWARD STERN show, the couple revealed that he asked her to sign a legal "agreement" before they even had sex for the first time.) Even better is the fact that Gene's son is 6 foot, 7 inches tall -- and that's not a typo! -- and he wants to be a rock star too. You'll LOL when Gene tries to "help," by booking Nick gigs, suggesting corny band titles like "Engine" and even offering to "play bass" with him and his teen friends. Take it from me, a non-Kiss fan, check out "Gene's Family Jewels"!
(Gene and his gi-normous kid, Nick)

P.S.: What's this about ACE FREHLEY being a closet Nazi? Gene told Howard he used to march around in vintage Nazi costumes to freak him out when they were on tour. (Gene's Jewish -- don't tell MEL).

Technorati: kiss + entertainment + celebrities + tv + gene simmons + shannon tweed + howard stern + music

Friday Funnies: Snakes on a Motherfuckin' Plane

2006-08-04T13:18:00.000-07:00

Like peanut butter and chocolate and MEL GIBSON and tequila, nothing goes better together than "Snakes on a Plane," the new action flick coming out Aug. 18. Here's a sneak peek at the movie that is oh so NSFW (Not Safe for Work)!

Can't get enough? Then send a personalized voice mail message from SAM JACKSON to your friends and family. I've done it several times and the reciever always freaks OUT! Go here.

Technorati: snakes + entertainment + celebrities + gossip + movies + + samuel jackson

Pop Quiz! Who Owns This Boobylicious Body Bling?

2006-08-03T17:00:00.000-07:00

So who would wear a necklace with interlocking Chanel "C"'s, McDonald's golden arches and a skull and crossbones underneath it?

Is it LIL KIM? STAR JONES REYNOLDS? Or VIVICA FOX perhaps? Here's a hint! She used to wear a "house key" as an earring in the '80s ....Click here for the answer!

Technorati: games + entertainment + celebrities + gossip

Anna to Britney: Let's Be B-Fries!

2006-08-02T11:43:00.000-07:00

Good news for BRITNEY SPEARS! ANNA NICOLE SMITH thinks you're, like, "totally cool." "If you wanted to be friends, I would soooo much love to hang out with you!" the six-months-pregnant, pickle-loving TrimSpa babe says on her Website, www.annanicole.com. (Insert your own heart-dotted "i"s and mis-spells here.) Like the Bride of Federline, Anna announced earlier this year that she was preggers -- to the shock and awe of pretty much everyone. But the two Southern-fried blondes do have a lot in common -- like a love for tiny dogs, Cheetos and all things deep-fried. (And even deep-fried, tiny dogs!) So whatchu waitin' for, girls? And don't forget the video cameras!

Related News:
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My Brush with Britney
Is Britney Really the 'Simpsons' Hillbilly?
Damage Control for Britney!
Oops! Britney's Baby Goes Boom
Britney Hires Midgets for K-Fed

Technorati: britney + entertainment + celebrities + gossip

In Non-Mel Star News ...

2006-08-01T13:00:00.000-07:00

When did COURTENEY and DAVID buy an Indian girl?? (Nice shirt, Dave. Stooge!) (Seen at the "Barnyard" premiere)

HEF's so damn old he can't stand up. (He just turned 80!!)

There's a reason the Girls Next Door are smiling ...
Tag that wrinkly old ass! You earned it, bitches!

Technorati: entertainment + news + courtney + gossip + playboy hefner + girls next door

The Pam/Kid Wedding Album

2006-07-30T14:35:00.000-07:00

Saturday, on a yacht off the coast off St. Tropez ...

KID SHLOCK and SPAM ANDERSON had a hillbilly wedding!

But then the Corona and Gin and Juice ran out! And so did their buzzes ...

Will true love prevail?

Related News:
Pam: What a Hooker!
Kid Rock on Pam and the Sex Tape!

Technorati: entertainment + news + pam + gossip + + kid rock

Mel Gibson on Drunk-Driving Rampage?

2006-07-29T12:06:00.000-07:00

MEL GIBSON was arrested by Malibu sheriffs for driving drunk Friday night and now TMZ.com has obtained an amazingly profane police report detailing Mad Max's drunken rant against the sheriffs, "effing Jews" and lady cops. He drops the F-bomb a hundred times, and at one point, sheriffs say the "Passion of the Christ" director tells a lady police officer, "What the f*** do you think you're looking at Sugar Tits?" Here's exclusive video of Mel during his booze-filled drive ....

Okay, that's actually "South Park"'s spoof of Mel behind the wheel, but you get the idea. This guy is off his rocker.

Technorati: entertainment + news + mel + gossip + christ

Pam Is Such A Hooker, Even On Her Wedding Day

2006-07-27T10:48:00.000-07:00

PAM ANDERSON is in Las Vegas today, kicking off her new poker site, and her Wedding-palooza tour in which she is, hold on, what the heck ???...

Oh geez, pull yourself together, sister! Ah, I see, she dropped her promotional poster for PamelaPoker.com ...

So, as I was saying, here's Pam with her hubby to be ... HOLY JESUS!

Okay, seriously folks, she's marrying KID ROCK in about four cities, she says. "I'm going to get married a few times this month to the same guy," she tells the media. The star couple will reportedly kick off their month-long celebration this Saturday in St. Tropez, France, before moving on to Malibu, Detroit, Nashville. Nashville? Here's hoping the bride wears SHOES.

Technorati: entertainment + news + pam + gossip + + kid rock

Just an Excuse to Post a Picture of Nekkid People

2006-07-26T14:35:00.000-07:00

It's not really news but today a hinky Scottish photographer convinced 33 people to doff their knickers and pose for Scotland's first piece of live naked art. The nudists included a fireman, some American tourists and a lady who got her first spray-on Mystic Tan just for the occasion (lower left).

Technorati: entertainment + news + gossip + naked

'Drama Queen' Lindsay Rushed to Hospital Again

2006-07-26T12:26:00.000-07:00

If it's Wednesday that means LINDSAY LOHAN is back in the ER again. This time the party girl is being treated for "overheating and exhaustion," media reports say. She was rushed from the set of her new movie 'Georgia Rule' (starring fossil JANE FONDA and FELICITY HUFFMAN) to an L.A. hospital where she recieved a vitamin B shot. At least, we THINK it's vitamin B. It was probably Kool-Aid and vodka for all we know ...

Related News:
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Technorati: entertainment + news + lindsay + gossip

Who Weighs More: Nicole or Pocket Pooch?

2006-07-24T17:46:00.000-07:00

NICOLE RICHIE is appearing in her dad LIONEL's new music video, "I Call it Love," being walked by some skinny bizzatch in a giant head scarf. Oh wait, scratch that, reverse it! Her billionaire pops Lionel is speaking out about his adopted daughter's weight, telling "Access Hollywood": "What are fathers for if you can't point the finger every once in awhile? I think the good part of it is she is aware of it. ... She has heard this all of her life from me, so this just a continuation of the reminder." She has to be reminded to eat? Wow, what a life!

Technorati: entertainment + news + music + nicole richie

How the Stars Spent Their Weekends

2006-07-24T11:11:00.000-07:00

Dumb and Dumber: Part Duh? JIM CARREY squeeze JENNY McCARTHY and sis AMY celebrated her birthday with pink wigs at Jet nightclub in Vegas.

X-TINA grinded another girl onstage in London ...

While naughty GEORGE MICHAEL got caught cruising for sex in a UK park -- AGAIN!

The honorable News of the World tabloid caught the singer red-handed and red-faced as he emerged from the bushes after cavorting with a "pot-bellied, 58-year-old, jobless van driver." The paper writes, that, "When challenged George, 43, was wild-eyed and trembling. Trying to hide his face under a baseball cap, he screamed: 'I don't believe it! F*** off! If you put those pictures in the paper, I'll sue!'" Ah, suit on?

Technorati: entertainment + news + music + george michael + aguilera + celebrities

Friday Funnies: Chad Vader -- Daytime Grocery Manager!

2006-07-21T14:41:00.000-07:00

Life isn't easy when you're DARTH VADER's little brother. And those meddling minions of the rebellion keep thwarting your devilish plans for supremacy at the local Quickie Mart. Watch and see!

Technorati: entertainment + news + movies + star wars + vader + spoof

Paris: 'I'm not a Slut, But My Friends Are'

2006-07-21T13:39:00.000-07:00

In a rare brush with reality, PARIS HILTON responded to bloggers' claims that she is "just an oversized human condom" and "a fart in a mitten. You know it's there, you can't stand it, but you can't get rid of it" on TMZ.com this week. However, in true heir-head fashion, the sex-tape queen countered by blaming the diseased hosebags she surrounds herself with. "I'm not a slut," she told TMZ editor HARVEY LEVIN. "I'm far less promiscuous than any of my friends." Ahh, yes. That may in fact be true, for someone who hangs out with PAM ANDERSON and PAULY SHORE (see below), but, if that's the case, couldn't she just buy new friends? Harvey ambushed Paris with her publicist ELLIOTT MINTZ, and amazingly read these insults to her face. I'm not saying this is great gonzo journalism, because the whole thing looks and feels like a complete set-up between Harvey and her publicist from start to finish, right down to the part where she says she "cries" sometimes because of all the hurtful haters. Still, it has a certain TARA REID's-boob-out-on-the-red-carpet quality. You want to look away, but you just can't! (Sorta like this Pauly/Paris photo -- shudder). See the video interview here.

Technorati: entertainment + news + movies + paris

Haley Joel Sees Dead People, But Misses Pillar

2006-07-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

"Sixth Sense" star HALEY JOEL OSMENT wrapped his car around a pillar last night around 1 a.m. in Los Angeles. Cops say the kid who saw "dead people" was heading home in his 1995 Saturn when he careened into the brick obstruction. I think you'll join me here when I say: 1995 Saturn??? Hey, where's all that SHYAMALAN dough? Oh no, do we have another COREY HAIM on our hands?! Haley Joel was taken to the hospital where I certainly hope he gets better, so that he can purchase a hotter set of wheels. I hear Pontiac makes a bitchin' Grand Prix. His next film is "Home of the Giants," in which the 18-year-old plays a high school journalist covering a basketball team as it heads toward the state championship.

Technorati: entertainment + news + movies + haley joel + sixth sense + shyamalan

Eat Your Hearts Out Jessica, Paris, Lindsay!

2006-07-20T08:53:00.000-07:00

MICHELLE PFEIFFER is 48 and still smoking' hot!

Plus, girlfriend's got class ...

Errrr, well, at least she's got a bunch of movies in the pipeline, including "I Could Never Be Your Woman," by "Clueless" director AMY HECKERLING (love it!), and a fantasy flick with CLAIRE DANES and BOBBY DeNIRO called "Stardust." De Niro? Okaaay. Check her out in the new InStyle magazine on stands tomorrow!

Technorati: entertainment + news + movies + deniro + pfeiffer + claire danes

TRL Scurries to Avoid Jessica/Vanessa Catfight!

2006-07-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

How convenient is it that just as JESSICA SIMPSON is scheduled to appear on MTV's "TRL" today to premiere her new music video, co-host VANESSA MINNILLO, who is dating Jessica's ex, is curiously absent? Yep, today at 3:30, li'l Miss Hair Extensions is debuting her new video "A Public Affair" (hey, no snickering!) on MTV. But "TRL" cutie Vanessa, who has been all over the tabloids holding hands with NICK LACHEY recently, is oddly nowhere to be found. Hmmmm.For those of us curious about Jess's new video, it has a sort of "Girls Behaving Badly" theme and features Jess roller-skating with her Hollywood gal pals EVA LONGORIA, CHRISTINA MILIAN, MARIA MENOUNOS and CHRISTINA APPLEGATE. Get a sneak peek below ...

Related News:
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Jessica, Kristin's Got Yer Man!
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Technorati: jessica simpson + entertainment + news + trl + nick + eva + music

No Wonder Vin Diesel Disappeared

2006-07-18T15:44:00.000-07:00

VIN DIESEL turns 38 today, which made me wonder: Where the hell is Vin Diesel? Sadly, we haven't heard from the Popeye-armed action figure since that dud, "The Pacifier." Perhaps an answer can be found in this video clip, in which DAVID SPADE strung together clips of Vin repeating the same lame stories over and over to different talk show hosts.

Technorati: vin + entertainment + news + david+spade

Pam and Kid: Just 2 Hillbillies in Love!

2006-07-18T12:11:00.000-07:00

KID ROCK's still got the jimmies for PAM ANDERSON, who today announced in typical rambling style on her Website that she is getting MARRIED.

"Yes. I'm finally getting remarried...it's been a whirlwind...spontaneous but well thought through. Feels like I've been stuck in a time warp. Not able to let go of MY family picture...it's been sad and lonely and frustrating....I've raised my kids alone in hope of a miracle. Well my miracle came and went. And came back and came back because he knew that I'd wake up one day and realize that I was waiting for nothing. I'm moving on...I feel like I'm finally free....I'm in love. I'm happy....I see the light...sounds dramatic but it's true.....I know some women can relate to this....My children are getting older. They know the truth and they are strong, smart kids. They love their Dad. They love their new Step Dad who they've known for years...time will pass. Wounds will heal. Some people may never grow up. Actions speak louder than words....watch!"

Despite what Kid Cock said earlier this year -- "I don't want to date any more actresses and that crap, I'm over it" -- he and Pam were frolicking in France just last month. Reading between the lines, I bet that fractured "family picture" she mentions included ex TOMMY LEE, who is probably drowning his sorrows in a bottle of JD right about now.

Related News:
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Technorati: pam + entertainment + news + kid rock

Little Lourdes Looks Like Madge -- With a Tan

2006-07-17T17:21:00.000-07:00

Get a load of the Mini-Madge, MADONNA's daughter LOURDES, stepping out with the Material Mom ...

Love how Lourdes, Madonna's famous offspring from a fling with trainer CARLOS LEON, shares her mum's big, almond-shaped eyes and heart-shaped face. She's 10 now and shaping up to be a real heartbreaker. I can only imagine what will happen when she hits her teens and starts experimenting with boys and ciggies. Look out, Madge!

Technorati: madonna + entertainment + news + lourdes

Uh Oh, Pussycat! Hold On to Your Kitty

2006-07-16T16:28:00.000-07:00

A brisk wind nearly upstaged the PUSSYCAT DOLLS when it blew up ASHLEY ROBERTS' skirt at the opening of the annual Harrod's of London summer sale. Yes, I was shocked to learn the Pussycat Dolls have names too. And just when I had almost forgotten the IDs of those darn SPICE GIRLS too. Say, isn't that Old Spice in the middle below?

Technorati: pussycat doll + entertainment + news + london

Friday Funnies: Sexiest Man Alive?

2006-07-07T18:34:00.000-07:00

Yep, that's People magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive," MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY, enjoying a little down time, and a lot of Bud apparently, on the beaches of Cali. This one's for you, Matt!

Technorati: entertainment + news + matthew mcconaughey

Kathy Griffin's Life Is Worse Than Yours

2006-07-06T18:03:00.000-07:00

She may be the most-hated woman in Hollywood, but even redheaded comedian KATHY GRIFFIN doesn't deserve this! After months of rumors about a divorce and then reconciliation, she has finally come forward with an explanation as to why she and her seemingly devoted hubby, MATT MOLINE, are splitting. "My ex-husband, without my knowledge, was sneaking into my wallet when I was asleep in the mornings and taking my ATM cards from my private accounts and withdrawing money ... That money totaled $72,000." Hellz 'a' poppin'! I've heard of some crazy breakups but this is a new one on me! Mild-mannered Matt always seemed so devoted on her show, "My Life on the D-List." The man even rhapsodized about how he liked to curl her hair before her shows because he could zone out and think about his fantasy football stats. Turns out he was just figuring out how to siphon more money out of his wife's account! He's even grabbing for her purse in this picture ... LOL. Kick that deadbeat to the curb, Kathy!

Technorati: kathy griffin + entertainment + news

Angie and Gwen: Best Friends Forever?

2006-07-04T18:45:00.000-07:00

Lately Hollywood has become like one big "Mommy & Me" club what with all the famous newborns popping out, but it's kind of funny when two, giant, star, bobbleheads collide -- like ANGELINA JOLIE and GWEN STEFANI. The super-moms and their impossibly named offspring, KINGSTON ROSSDALE and SHILOH NOUVEL JOLIE-PITT, got together for a baby playdate Sunday at Brangie's seaside Santa Barbara, Cali, retreat. Who knew these two had anything in common besides celebrity sperm? Spies say they lounged by the patio like old pals and even sported "matching baby slings." What's next? Gymboree with SEAN PRESTON and the Bride of Federline? Whatever you do, Angie, don't let BRITNEY drive!

Related News:
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Is Britney Really the 'Simpsons' Hillbilly?
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Britney Hires Midgets for K-Fed

Technorati: angelina + entertainment + news + gwen stefani + music

Kill the Stylist: 4th of July Edition!

2006-07-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

Happily for us, summer brings out the best and worst in celebrity fashions! Strap yourself in and enjoy these "What Were They Thinking" styles.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY unveiled the "Pirates" sequel, "Sunken Chest," er, I mean, "Dead Man's Chest" in London.

MISCHA BARTON shows off the new Barbie "red-carpet" gown collection. (Dress is actual doll size.)

KELLY, oh no! Here's the American Idol in Miami over the weekend looking like a honey ham squeezed into a black mesh bag. "Since U Been Gone, I've been stuffing myself with HoHos and Chili Cheese Fries"???

Technorati: superman + entertainment + fashion + pirates + kelly clarkson + mischa

What if 'Superman' Wore 'Prada'?

2006-07-02T13:02:00.000-07:00

So how did hunky BRANDON ROUTH fare at the box office against his fellow men in tights? "Superman Returns" scored a respectable $52 million from Friday to Sunday for a total opening haul of $82 million since it opened on Wednesday. That's better than "Batman Begins," which cleaned up $48.7 million over its opening weekend and $72.9 million in its first five days, but not as good as TOBEY's "Spider-Man 2," the record-holder for best five-day openings, which nabbed $152.4 million over the Fourth of July weekend in 2004. In second place this weekend was the fashion comedy, "The Devil Wears Prada," with $27 million, which experts say was "better than expected." I can vouch for the popularity of "Prada." I tried to see it Saturday night in Century City, CA, and all the 7:10, 7:30 and 8 p.m. screenings were sold out -- so we had to see "The Break Up" instead. So the guys went to see Superman and the chicks lined up for "Prada." Uh oh, brainstorm! What if "Superman Wore Prada"? Note to BRYAN SINGER: Imagine the gross!

Technorati: superman + entertainment + movies + devil wears prada + batman

Da Chronic Has Made Woody Crazy!

2006-06-30T16:54:00.000-07:00

"Cheers" bartender and hemp clothing fan WOODY HARRELSON wrapped his joint-stained hands around a paparazzo's neck and choked him last night and the incident was all caught on tape, thanks to TMZ.com! The incident happened around 11:30 p.m. outside the nightclub Element in Hollywood, CA. According to TMZ, the Wood Man was leaving the club when a photog began videotaping him. When he refused to stop, Woody approached the shutterbug and said, "I've asked you to stop, are you going to stop?" The dude replied, "Not when you ask me like that." Then it was on like Donkey Kong! The video reportedly shows Harrelson breaking the camera and the picture going dead.

See the
video here!

Technorati: woody + entertainment + celebrities

Friday Funnies! Jessica Alba Trashes Her 'Girl of Summer' Title

2006-06-30T09:50:00.000-07:00

I officially have a "girl crush" on JESSICA ALBA after seeing her on "The Showbiz Show" last night trashing her "Girl of the Summer" title (from Entertainment Weekly) and generally cursing up a storm. She even takes a few stabs at evil hobbit DAVID SPADE. Hey, what's not to love?

Technorati: jessica alba + entertainment + celebrities + david spade

Harper's Editors 'Horrified' by Britney's Hair; America Horrified by Harper Cover

2006-06-29T11:21:00.000-07:00

Faster than you could say "Miss Clairol," BRITNEY SPEARS dyed her hair brown after fans blasted her matted blonde extensions and general hillbilly appearance on the recent "Dateline" interview. Us Weekly reports a source said, "She pulled out her extensions and bought a bottle of dark hair dye. She didn't understand her image problem until the negative feedback about Dateline." Didn't understand it? Aii-yeesh! She then chopped her hair into a short bob, unfortunately forgetting that she had a photo shoot last week for fashion magazine Harper's Bazaar, which is featuring her on an upcoming cover. Well, don't mess with fashionistas, honey! When Spears showed up at the cover photo shoot last Friday with her new look, the style Nazis were reportedly "horrified." In a tizzy, stylists for the shoot ordered triple espresso caramel frappuccinos and in their highly caffeinated state decided to add brunette extensions to the Bride of Federline. She actually looks hot as a brunette! If only she could keep her damn clothes on.
Related News:
My Brush with Britney
Is Britney Really the 'Simpsons' Hillbilly?
Damage Control for Britney!
Oops! Britney's Baby Goes Boom
Britney Hires Midgets for K-Fed

Technorati: britney + entertainment + celebrities

Jamie Gets His Freak On at the BET Awards

2006-06-28T16:35:00.000-07:00

JAMIE FOXX got a little R.KELLY at the BET Awards last night, planting a sloppy, wet, porn kiss on his duet partner, American Idol FANTASIA BARRINO. I'm pretty sure violating an American Idol like this is a felony in some states, although CLAY AIKEN has probably done worse. You might want to throw acid in your eyes after checking out this next shot ...

BET + entertainment + celebrities + american idol + jamie foxx

Hell Hath No Fury Like Candy Spelling's!

2006-06-28T08:33:00.000-07:00

I didn't think it was possible to feel sorry for heir-head TORI SPELLING, especially after seeing "Scary Movie 2," until I read that she found out about her father AARON's death from a stroke last Friday through a text message. "A friend of mine had seen a TV report and e-mailed me, 'I'm so sorry. I just heard your father died.' And I was just in total shock," Tori says in the new Us magazine on stands Friday. "My first thought was, 'I can't believe my mom didn't call me!'" Mom and daughter have been feuding like alley cats since pops became ill and Candy reportedly took up with a new gent, an old "family friend." But a text message?! That's colder than SHANNEN DOHERTY's panties, sister!

Related News:
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entertainment + celebrities + tori spelling

Marilyn Manson: Softie at Heart?

2006-06-28T08:27:00.000-07:00

Goth rocker MARILYN MANSON enjoyed some down time with one of his favorite Disney characters at the "Pirates" premiere...

Awww. Wouldn't you know that inside every little black-lipstick-wearing, Cure-loving Goth is a kid who just wants to go to DisneyLand?

pirates + entertainment + celebrities + johnny depp + marilyn manson

Answer: It's Jesse McCartney!

2006-06-27T16:59:00.000-07:00

Turns out Vanessa was overjoyed to see teen hottie JESSE McCARTNEY on MTV's "TRL." He was pushing his new single, "Right Where You Want Me." But dang, Vanessa! Play a LITTLE hard to get, wontcha?

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Technorati: nick + entertainment + celebrities + gossip + jesse + vanessa

Johnny, Meet Johnny

2006-06-26T17:43:00.000-07:00

JOHNNY DEPP came face to face with his animatronic double at DisneyLand's newly revamped "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride this past weekend. Johnny's "Cap'n Jack Sparrow" and Captain Barbossa join the original, herky jerky scalliwags on the surreal boat trip, which officially reopens to guests on June 26 at Disneyland in Cali and on July 7 in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World in Fla. "Pirates 2: Dead Man's Chest" opens in theaters July 7. Can't wait! Check out the trailer below...

pirates + entertainment + celebrities + johnny depp + keira

Nic Tries Hubby No. 2

2006-06-25T20:46:00.000-07:00

NICOLE KIDMAN married KEITH URBAN Sunday in an Australian blowout with NAOMI WATTS, RUSSELL SPENCER, my boyfriend HUGH JACKMAN, that guy from CROWDED HOUSE and plenty other kangaroo huggers in da hizzay. She looked like a princess in her empire-waisted Balenciaga gown and white veil. It was actually a one-shouldered gown which is a nice twist on the traditional bridal design.

I really do hope it works out for Nic this time and that the new Mr. Kidman doesn't hit the crack pipe like before. Crack is wack! Just look what that shit did to beyootiful WHITNEY...

kidman + entertainment + celebrities + whitney

Just for Kicks: Knock, Knock, Um, Gator Gram?

2006-06-25T17:07:00.000-07:00

Tired of snacking on fish and wayward joggers, a six-foot South Carolina alligator decided to make a housecall last week ...

Neighbors think the rascally reptile was attracted to the home by the smell of "chicken teriyaki" grilling in the backyard. But after no one answered, he sadly slithered on back into the wild. Later, alligator! (Full story here).

funny + entertainment + animal + alligator

Friday Funnies: Connie Chung Sings Oh So Badly

2006-06-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

You may want to plug your ears for this one! CONNIE CHUNG is no KATHARINE McPHEE but that didn't stop her from screeching "Thanks for the Memories" after her weekend show with hubby MAURY got cancelled. Connie told MSNBC that she usually sings at fundraisers and charity dinners but this was her first time on tape. Notice how the piano player's hands move, but no sound comes out ...

Ahoy, Ye Scurvy Mates! Pirates Ahead ...

2006-06-22T15:45:00.000-07:00

New photos of "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" have just surfaced and the movie is looking better and better ...

The JOHNNY DEPP extravaganza opens July 7th, and catches up with lovebirds Will (ORLANDO BLOOM) and Elizabeth (KEIRA KNIGHTLEY) just as they are arrested on their wedding day for aiding the escape of Johnny's Capt. Jack Sparrow. Will must find Captain Jack and get him to hand over his mysterious compass that will supposedly rid the world of pirates! Arrgh, ye read right, maggots! Unfortunately, the fey Jack is stranded on an island of cannibals who have made him their god (hence the wiggy eye makeup). He also owes his soul to Capt. Davey Jones and is in danger of being eaten by a kraken, which is apparently nowhere near as fun as it sounds. More pics here on comingsoon.net

Technorati: pirates + entertainment + celebrities + johnny depp + keira

Is This the New Nicole Richie?

2006-06-22T12:44:00.000-07:00

Now I ain't one to gossip, but KATE BOSWORTH showed up at the "Superman Returns" premiere last night in Hell-ay looking like a stiff breeze could carry her away. You can count the bones in her chest!

She then tried to make herself look thicker by standing next to co-star PARKER POSEY. Skeletwin powers, activate!

Technorati: superman + entertainment + celebrities + brandon routh + kate bosworth

Nicole's Cruising to the Altar

2006-06-20T16:29:00.000-07:00

NICOLE KIDMAN is celebrating her 39th birthday with -- a wedding! The saucy Aussie has flown down to Australia and announced plans to wed her country cutie, KEITH URBAN, sometime this weekend, according to Us magazine. She even announced to the press, "We have come home to celebrate our wedding with our family and friends." So now the burning questions are: Who will design the CHANEL spokesbabe's dress? Is there enough security on the continent to keep invited exes RENEE ZELLWEGER and KENNY CHESNEY from tearing out each others' throats? And will TOM and KATIE attend? Stay tuned ....

Technorati: nicole kidman + entertainment + celebrities + tom cruise + katie holmes

The Ugliest Bag Ever? (And the Purse Isn't So Great Either)

2006-06-20T12:25:00.000-07:00

Sufferin' Succotash! Here's NICKY HILTON debuting her new "Tweety Designed by Nicky Hilton" handbags, part of a cushy deal she made with Warner Bros. to rehab the cartoon canary brand. Call me a birdbrain, but I just learned today that last year was the "Summer of Tweety," according to this oh-so-helpful press release.

Last summer was the "summer of Tweety," as Tweety flew into two of fashion's hottest, trendsetting retailers, Kitson in Los Angeles and SCOOP in New York, with exclusive collections boasting refreshed artwork treatments that were redesigned and embellished with a modern twist. This launch sent Tweety into the upscale fashion scene -- recreating the character as a modish and trendy icon.

Modish and trendy, eh? Sorry, but this bag is just fugly, if you ask me!

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Technorati: devil wears prada + entertainment + celebrities + hilton + fashion

Finally, A Star Couple That Makes Sense...

2006-06-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

Yep, that's JIM CARREY and JENNY McCARTHY holding hands at the Santa Monica Airport. I can actually see these two going the distance. She's kind of like the Harry to his Lloyd, if you catch my drift ....

More Freaky Star Hookups:
Ryan Seacrest and Teri Hatcher
Pam and Kanye
Kristin Cavallari and Nick Lachey
Dominic Monaghan & Evangeline Lilly

Technorati: jim carrey + entertainment + celebrities + jenny mccarthy

'Aquaman''s Variety Hoax

2006-06-19T11:34:00.000-07:00

Funny that on the same day "Variety" reviews the new "Superman Returns" (calling it "sensitive" of all things), a giant two-page ad appears inside the magazine's cover boasting of a super stellar $116 million movie opening for "Aquaman." "Aquaman"? Nope, you didn't miss the biggest blockbuster of the summer. In fact, there is no such movie celebrating the underwater marvel. The ad is an inside joke to fans of "Entourage," HBO's ongoing series about a fictional up-and-coming boy wonder actor named Vincent Chase (played by ADRIAN GRENIER) and his Hollywood pussy posse. Last season, the young Vince was cast as Aquaman, and on last night's episode, the made-up movie finally opened to huge b.o., sending his agent Ari (JEREMY PIVEN) into a salivating frenzy. The brilliance of the "Variety" ad is that it never gives away the joke, and even lists real-life uber-director JAMES CAMERON as its maker.

Technorati: entourage + entertainment + movies + superman + adrian grenier

Friday Funnies and Fashion! The Devil Wears Prada

2006-06-16T11:08:00.000-07:00

I'm positively drooling to see the fashion flick "The Devil Wears Prada," starring MERYL STREEP as an icy fashion mag editor and ANNE HATHAWAY as her hapless 20something assistant. One of the perks of her job is Anne gets a key to the coveted couture closet of "Runway" magazine if she can just keep from poisoning her boss's soy lattes. (trailer above) "Entertainment Tonight" has been doing some awesome pieces on the flick, opening June 30th, and its designer looks! The costumes are all by wacky "Sex and the City" stylist PATRICIA FIELD, who says that for Miranda's uber-bitch look, she dressed Meryl in BILL BLASS, DONNA KARAN and, of course, PRADA. Anne gets transformed from Gap gopher to Fifth Avenue goddess in CALVIN KLEIN, DOLCE & GABBANA and CHANEL, including a fab pair of black leather hip-high boots. Let the catfights begin!

Technorati: devil wears prada + entertainment + celebrities + anne hathaway + meryl streep

Britney's Mr. Burns Impression Scares Me

2006-06-14T12:55:00.000-07:00

The BRIDE of FEDERLINE is sitting down with MATT LAUER at 9 p.m. Thursday on NBC to talk up her "amazing" marriage and this is a sneak peek. Not only is her hillbilly outfit and fake wig disturbing but what is she doing with her hands? It's a little too close to ...

Am I right?

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Technorati: britney + entertainment + celebrities

Daryl Hannah Out of Her Tree

2006-06-13T15:31:00.000-07:00

There's nothing funnier than an actress up a tree and that's exactly where DARYL HANNAH was today until she was arrested and charged with trespassing by LAPD this afternoon. The "Kill Bill" assassin has been squatting 40 feet up a walnut tree to help protest a developer's plan to bulldoze a community garden in the middle of downtown L.A.'s concrete jungle. Most of the farmers of the 14-acre plot are Spanish immigrants, some who have toiled more than 10 years on the land. But last month they were evicted (they don't own it, you see) -- and that's when the hippie actresses moved in! It took several of L.A.'s finest to remove Daryl and her pals using a cherrypicking crane. Seems to me that if the land is so important to Daryl, couldn't she just buy it for the farmers?

Nerd Alert! Screech's Giant Shlong And Urkel Lives

2006-06-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

I always thought DUSTIN DIAMOND had a porn-star name and now it turns out the "Saved by the Bell" geek has the equipment to go with it. TV's SCREECH was a guest on HOWARD STERN's radio show this morning and confessed that he is more than a little well-endowed, measuring a solid 10 inches when not aroused. He says his large girth makes it nearly impossible to wear condoms, which are inevitably too darn "snug," and that in high school he endured a lot of locker-room teasing for his large member, so much so that he refuses to use public urinals even today. Despite his obvious porn-star potential, Screech's last paying gig was fighting "Welcome Back, Kotter"'s HORSESHACK (RON PALILLO) on "Celebrity Boxing 2" (2002). He now lives in Wisconsin, has bad credit, and says that is about to lose his house because of a bad business deal. Worse yet, TIFFANI THIESSEN has blocked him from IM'ing her on AIM, he jokes. Won't you help Screech? LOL. He's selling T-shirts to raise money on his Website www.getdshirts.com.

In other news, Urkel is alive and well and partied at the Marquee club with JEREMY PIVEN, HILARY DUFF and more B-list stars in NYC last Thursday. I mention this because last week a crazy rumor surfaced on the Web claiming that "Family Matters"' beloved four-eyed geek was found dead of an apparent suicide. If anything, Urkel has never been more hot. He's even starring in BEYONCé's new movie 'Dreamgirls' with JAMIE FOXX and EDDIE MURPHY this fall. But the real question, of course, is, how well does Urkel stack up in the trouser dept.?

Technorati: entertainment + urkel + celebrities + screech + howard stern + saved by the bell

Britney Brags About Her Awesome Mommy Skills

2006-06-12T12:12:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a connected friend, I just spent the weekend at the amazing St Regis Monarch Beach resort near Laguna Beach, CA, where a certain "Toxic" mama was also shooting a new photo layout with her baby, SEAN PRESTON. Yep, it was BRITNEY, who as you might have noticed is trying to rehab her image as a white-trash, baby-dangling hillbilly. She tells People mag that hoodrat KEVIN is not "sleeping in the basement" as some tabloids have reported and that her marriage is "awesome." Awesome? In any case, I met a guest at the hotel who is 7 months pregnant and had a brush with the Britster during her stay. She says Brit offered her parenting advice and bragged that, "the first baby is always hard," but now she's an "old pro" at raising kids. The shocked guest politely held her tongue!

Here's the pool view from The St. Regis

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Technorati: britney + entertainment + celebrities

Denise Richards: Don'tcha Wish Your Mom Was a Skank Like Me?

2006-06-11T21:04:00.000-07:00

Get a load of DENISE RICHARDS out in Las Vegas Friday night as a special co-whore, I mean, co-host of "The Pussycat Dolls." I love how this chick thinks! Sure, she just had a baby a year ago and she's accusing hubby CHARLIE SHEEN of being a drug-addicted porn-star murderer who shouldn't come within 300 feet of their babies. But, hey, that doesn't mean she can't go out in public dressed like a $3 floozie if she wants to!

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Friday Funnies: David Hasselhoff's 'Secret Agent Man'

2006-06-09T07:33:00.000-07:00

Check out "Baywatch" stud and German pop sensation DAVID HASSELHOFF singing "Secret Agent Man" in this campy, $2, "James Bond"-inspired music video. (My fave bit is when he flies across the screen using his top-secret, super-duper jet pack!) Watch out, WILLIAM SHATNER! David could be upstaging even you here.

Answer: It's Janet!

2006-06-08T08:58:00.001-07:00

Do the arches reprezzent her love for Da McGriddle? (MMM, McGriddle....) Or is it simply a savvy marketing scheme? Note to advertisers: You too can rent space on JANET JACKSON's rack! Simply contact her mini-pimp, JERMAINE DUPRI. (Y'all know who dis is, right?)

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Baby Shiloh Pics! (Try to Act Surprised)

2006-06-08T08:58:00.000-07:00

Freshly borrowed from People.com, here's the official SHILOH JOLIE-PITT portrait. Lots of bloggers posted a similar shot leaked by Hello! magazine Wednesday and the blood-sucking lawyers came out in force! Hello!, People and Getty Images, the photo agency which sold the picture's rights, are even seeking damages (i.e.: $$$) from sites that illegally reproduced it. So don't sue me: People, Hello! or Getty. It's on newsstands tomorrow! Sheesh.

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Technorati: angelina + entertainment + celebrities + brad pitt

Big Pimpin' With the Pivert!

2006-06-07T17:40:00.000-07:00

The Council of Fashion Design Awards is a hoity toity event in NYC in which fashion's biggest flamers trot out their most atrocious outfits and try to suck up to as many celebrities as they can. Having said that, I'd kill to go! Yet somehow JEREMY "The Pivert" PIVEN wound up with my invitation to host (and my future husband TERRENCE HOWARD). Along with ...

LINDSAY LOHAN with her date, The Vampire Lestat (aka designer KARL LAGERFELD).

JANET -- Miss Jackson, if you're nasty!

And assorted coked-out models with too much side cleavage...

"Dude, did you get their numbers?" "Yeah, you know it!"

Technorati: lindsay + entertainment + celebrities + terrence howard + janet jackson + piven

Russell Crowe: Jerkus Maximus?

2006-06-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

A fascinating glimpse of life inside Maximus Crowe's world (dinner with KEVIN SPACEY, concerts at his private "farm") is recounted by reporter JACK MARX in Australia's "Sydney Herald." Jack talks about how the "Cinderfella" woos gossip columnists and others to write puff pieces about him and then throws temper tantrums when he doesn't like how things sound. He also talks about the infamous "phone-throwing" incident in which Russell threw a hotel phone at a NY concierge because he couldn't reach Australia from his room phone. Later, he waged a "nice guy" campaign to cover it up. Jack writes:

"It was during these times that I saw evidence of something that made me wince -- Crowe's bizarre propensity for nickel-and-dime media manipulation. It seemed Russell was running his own parallel, one-man PR fix-it campaign. He'd go through the daily papers and call journalists in person, chastising them for perceived inexactitudes. There was nothing morally corrupt about this, but I found it a silly pastime for a man of his stature. Sometimes it did him no service at all."

Read the whole story here.

Who's Been Snooping in Teri Hatcher's Closet?

2006-06-06T17:12:00.000-07:00

First, the RYAN SEACREST smooching scandal and now this! Can't TERI HATCHER catch a break? A NYC socialite named JULIE MACKLOWE stepped out to the Council of Fashion Designer Awards last night in a red-and-white striped frock suspiciously similar to the Desperate Housewife's ensemble. She even reads this site -- Hi, Julie! Oh, and watch your back, Teri!

Brangie Grants Shiloh Baby Photo While Depressing Millions

2006-06-05T18:35:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: Today, baby SHILOH's photo was splashed across the Internet after it was leaked from someone at Hello magazine. I'd show it here but the lawyers for Time Inc., who paid $4 million for it, are clamping down and going after whoever posts it!

ANGELINA JOLIE and BRAD PITT are officially as much fun as the Taliban. Yesterday the dour twosome, in what should have been a happy announcement, said they were going to release a photo of newborn SHILOH to Getty Images, a worldwide photo agency that supplies newspapers and other media with pics, for an undisclosed amount. They even said they would donate the money, which had been estimated at $5 million, to a charity. But lest anyone get excited about the news, they added this completely crushing fact: "While we celebrate the joy of the birth of our daughter, we recognize that two million babies born every year in the developing world die on the first day of their lives. These children can be saved, but only if governments around the world make it priority." I ask you, will these two ever lighten up?

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Technorati: angelina + entertainment + celebrities + brad pitt