Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Why Can't Vince Stop Crying? Maybe He Read This Story

Us Weekly reports in a very fishy cover story that ever since VINCE VAUGHN popped the question to his on-screen, off-screen squeeze JENNIFER ANISTON two months ago he just CAN'T STOP CRYING ABOUT IT. So many things feel wrong about this shlocky piece I hardly know where to begin! But let's give it a shot, shall we? First, we'll start with where the alleged proposal took place. According to the mag, on stands Friday, Vince proposed to his honey-haired mama on June 27 after a romantic getaway to La Casa de Las Tetas, better known as the Mexican villa owned by "Girls Gone Wild" titty mogul JOE FRANCIS. (Because, let's face it, nothing sets the stage for romance like visiting an estate built on the backs of topless, underage girls on roofies! Right, ladies?) Upon the couple's return, the wedding crasher reportedly got down on one knee and presented Jen with a $500,000 diamond ring that the mag points out was way, way "BIGGER" than the measly $200,000 one BRAD PITT gave Jen. "Vince almost cries whenever he tells the story of the proposal," the mag finally quotes a "source" as saying. Oh, please. Vince can't possibly be this much of a pussy. Think it's bogus? You tell me!>

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