Friday, January 27, 2006

Jessica Brings Home the Cheese!

Professional rumpshaker JESSICA SIMPSON has made another SuperBowl commercial for Pizza Hut to debut Feb. 5. In the upcoming ad, the "Dukes of Hazzard" floozy spoofs her tired music video ''These Boots Are Made For Walkin', by changing the lyrics to, "These bites are made for poppin'," in reference to the company's "Cheesy Bites." She then tosses the snacks into customers' mouths -- causing one young male admirer to reportedly "faint." I threw up in my mouth a little bit just writing that last line so I can only imagine the true awfulness of this spot. Here's an idea: Maybe little sis ASHLEE can pop a bite too and then choke on it due to "acid reflux." That'd be hawt!

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Bad Star Moms!

If you had asked me a year ago who was the worst celeb mom, I probably would have said track-mark queen COURTNEY LOVE or shifty-eyed ROSIE O'DONNELL. So it naturally shocked me that sweet, darling NICOLE KIDMAN could be a contender here. But wouldn't you know it? Snitch of the minute, SUZANNE HANSEN, is dishing the dirt on star parents she worked for in "You'll Never Nanny in this Town Again," and alleging that the foxy Aussie never spent more than 5 minutes with her adopted kiddies, CONNOR and ISABELLA. "I never saw her with her children," she tells Page Six. Hansen also says that Nicole's ex, level 11ty-seven Scientologist TOM CRUISE, drew up strict confidentiality guidelines for his help. Probably so they couldn't squeal about him praying to the toaster or standing in front of the fridge, trying to turn water into ice using the power of his "mind."

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Meg Ryan's Chinese Delivery
Foreign babies are the new hot Hollywood accessories, dontchaknow, right behind chihuahuas and kinkajous, if you believe the tabloids. ANGELINA has MADDOX and ZAHARA and now Us Weekly reports that MEG RYAN has adopted a Chinese baby girl who is happily ensconced with her new mom in her Bel-Air mansion. Meg already has a teenage son, JACK, with ex-hubby, DENNIS QUAID, so what's with the sudden maternal cravings? Speaking of cradle-robbing, Meg is planning a movie comeback after the dismal "On the Ropes" boxing drama. She'll be starring opposite "The O.C." cutie ADAM BRODY in a romantic comedy, "In the Land of Women."

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