Friday, March 03, 2006

Skating with Stupidity?

When you're a married figure skater and you start banging your ditzy ice skating partner, you probably want to keep things cool while you're performing together on TV. Unless you're "Skating with Celebrities'" LLOYD EISLER. Lloyd did everything but throw KRISTY SWANSON down on the ice and mount her in front of 15 million viewers on Wednesday night's "Skating with Celebrities" finale. The hot 'n' heavy partners hugged, kissed and giggled their way through the entire performance, which, and I love this part, included a routine to RICK JAMES' "Superfreak." I couldn't help but feel for Lloyd's poor then-pregnant wife. Not only did she have to deal with his hideous hoop earrings, but now she has to watch him grind the blonde bimbo from "Dude, Where's My Car?" As if we hadn't forgotten Kristy's last math brain fart, she screamed out, "I can't do math that well!!" after the judges
scores were read. I was reminded of the wise words of CHARLIE SHEEN, who after making the big-screen bomb "The Chase" with Kristy declared, "If ever a thought were to enter that girl's head, it would be a very lonely thing." Indeed, Charlie, indeed.

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