Monday, March 27, 2006

Wilmer on Lindsay, Mandy and That Giant '70s Shlong'

WILMER VALDERRAMA did more than kiss and tell Monday on HOWARD STERN, he gave up ALL the dirt on ex-girlfriends LINDSAY LOHAN, MANDY MOORE and JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT. There was so much insane gossip, I have to break it down into bullets:

  • On being very "well endowed": "Honestly, I've been very blessed. This is the place where I will tell you, yes, I am cursed with this gift. It's over 8 inches.

  • On Lindsay's weight loss: "When we met she was this bombshell. She was Jessica Rabbit. She lost weight after we broke up, way after."

  • On jealous Lindsay deleting other girls' numbers from his phone: "Well, that stuff happens. There was times where certain things made her uncomfortable. There's certain insecurities that come with being in love."

  • On Lindsay's boobs: "Yes, they are real."

  • On reports he dumped Lindsay for ASHLEE SIMPSON: "Ashlee and I never dated. I think she's a beautiful girl. We just became best friends and when Lindsay and I broke up, in all seriousness, the tabloids started taking it in all directions."

  • On meeting his "first love" Mandy Moore at a Teen magazine shoot: "When we first met she was like this huge pop princess. She said, 'I'm good,' and I said, 'Well, you look good,' and the room stops. God forbid you should talk to the princess like that.'"

  • On taking Mandy's virginity: "How do I put this in the most politically correct way possible? It's just really good."

  • On Jennifer Love in bed: "She's an 8."

  • On how he gets all these young starlets: "I'll be completely honest with you. The one thing that really helped me is when I was in high school, the movie 'Desperado' came out and then it was cool to have an accent and wear tight jeans. The fact is I'm the guy who will stand up in a booth and I will do a shot with anybody. I'm not the guy who's roped off in the VIP pretending I'm wearing this and that."

I haven't quite decided if Wilmer is either a super-pimp or a supreme douche, but if you have opinions, bring them on, bizzatches!

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At 9:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

no way! what a scumbag!

At 9:20 AM, Anonymous tennisplaya said...

geez, have a little class, why don't you, wilmer???

At 6:46 PM, Blogger Reboots DaMachina said...

My Hero!

At 2:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn why would a hot guy like that be associated with sluts like doofuses Asslee and Lindsay, ugly girls at that!

At 2:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess being a gentleman who doesn't kiss & tell is out the window huh? Maybe I'm getting old but bragging about who you banged and how you did it, and what position, and what flavor they were, etc. is not cool. Especially when everyone is listening. Oh Wilmer fucked your mom. I give her a 2...for how many of my balls were in her mouth. :)

At 3:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

shame about breaking mandy's virginity though....sweet girl...
but he's stillTHE MAN!!!!!!!


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