Jessica Simpson Draws a Blank, Danny Calls Angelina a 'Man-Stealer'...

... and more from tonight's Big in '05 Awards. JESSICA SIMPSON had her "chicken or tuna?" game face on (see left) as she accepted an award for Biggest Dumb Blonde. (Just Kidding!) Actually, she won for "Big Stylin'," and made a funny about her mom teaching her to match her "scrunchies to her socks." (Her mom was her date too.) "It Girl" winner LINDSAY LOHAN dedicated her award to "the paparazzi," because "being big in '05 means getting in three car crashes in one year, people." While professional train wreck DANNY BONADUCE called out ANGELINA JOLIE on her home-wrecking ways. Danny was overheard on the red carpet saying: "Here's what I think -- Angelina is a man-stealing bitch! She's like, 'I will collect movie stars' husbands and kick them out in the street because I'm Angelina Jolie.' Don't get me wrong, I'd do her," he said, before remembering his poor, long-suffering wife standing beside him. "But I wouldn't marry her." Nice save, Danny! The craptastic show airs at 8 p.m. tonight on VH1.


And oh wait, who are these hotties? None other than "America's Next Top Model" rejects BRITTANY, LLUVY and "I have a flesh-eating Virus" MICHELLE. Think TYRA's exit from modeling left a hole in the industry, bitches? God don't like ugly!

posted by Roxie @ 4:37 PM