Friday, December 30, 2005

Lindsay's Bikini Boob Slip

As we reported below, LINDSAY LOHAN is living it up (and letting it all hang out) in Miami Beach this weekend with her mom DINA, who for some reason hasn't told her little moneymaker that half her boobage is on display for the world to see. Thanks, Ma!

Hey, we understand! When you're a billionaire babe, it can be hard to keep those giant assets under wraps. Take this celebutante, spotted recently in Maui on vacay ... Click here to see who she is!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Leo, Lindsay Move the Party to Miami

L.A. clubs Privilege and LAX are sadly empty this week as club sluts LINDSAY LOHAN and LEO DiCAPRIO jetted to Miami's South Beach. That's Leo in the baseball cap sneaking out of hotspot Mansion, where model and GISELE lookalike, ELSA BENITEZ, was also spotted. Coinky-dink? NICOLE RICHIE's mopey ex, DJ AM, is also expected to spin at Mansion on New Year's. So will the bobble-head make an appearance as we forecasted below? And if so, will her new b-frie, MISCHA BARTON be in tow? (Funny, how being underage doesn't stop these baby Hollywhores from getting past those pesky drinking rules. From the "Baby-sitter's Club" to guzzling 'tinis in da club!)

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

K-Fed Launches Official Site in Between Diaper and Ciggy Runs is live, y'all! The FEDERLINE must be back in BRITNEY's good graces because she is bankrolling his cheesy new Website, complete with a bio and his own poser raps. (Heads up: You must have Flash 8 or call a friend who does to see all the wack-ass graphics.) After fly-in tabloid headlines of their recent marital hiccups, such as "Britney Boots Kevin," you're treated to the old cliché, "Never Judge a Book By Its Cover," and this snazzy resume: "I don't think we've ever been formally introduced. My name is Kevin Federline. I'm 6 feet tall, have brown hair and brown eyes. I enjoy horseback riding, long walks on the beach and the wind whipping through my hair. Ha ha ha. On a more serious note, there's going to be a lot more information and updates on here in the coming weeks and I think this will provide you with the opportunity to get to know who I really am. Anyway, thanks for checking out my site and be sure to come back often." Then prepare to be dazzled as "I'm Coming ... 2006" paired with video of a gushing champagne bottle spins into view. Nope, not since R. KELLY have we seen this kind of craptacular genius! If this is a hoax, it's a damn fine one, because The Brit-ster links to her baby daddy's page from her own site with the gushy note, "Hey, fans, Kevin's Website is now live! Make sure to check it out today!"

Monday, December 26, 2005

Happy, Like, Kabbalah from Demi's Girls

We super-duper-heart-flower-love this Christmas (or, wait, is it Chrisma-kabbalah?) card from DEMI MOORE's lucky brats RUMER, SCOUT and PETUNIA, oopsie, that's TALLULAH. Thanks to for this and for more cards from newly-single NICK LACHEY, MADGE, TOM and KATIE's fetus and many, many more!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Photo Fantasy: Angelina, Brad and Jen Together

Take a good long look because this may be the only place you see ANGELINA JOLIE, BRAD PITT and JENNIFER ANISTON together in one place. So, they look a little glazed, you say? That's because these are actually wax figures, dressed like fairy tale characters by the twisted folks at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in England as part of their annual "pantomime" exhibit. There's a little bias going on here of course: Jennifer is dressed like "Snow White" and Brad is "Prince Charming" while Angie has been cast as the "Wicked Witch." (Guess they saw that turkey "Sky Captain" too.) Just out of frame are also: PRESIDENT BUSH and Prime Minister TONY BLAIR as the head and rear of a Cow and SPICE GIRL VICTORIA BECKHAM in kitty ears as 'Posh in Boots.'

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Website Begs: 'Britney, Divorce, Kevin, PLEASE!'

Apparently people in Arkansas have exceptional taste. A Little Rock DJ named JASON CAGE has started a website called On this brilliant webpage, among other things, is an all-out competition to guess the correct date of a BRITNEY/FEDERJERK split, a Divorce Kevin petition and names of other non-skanktified stars for Brit to date. For instance, it notes that JESSICA SIMPSON's ex, NICK LACHEY, is now available for the "Toxic" cutie to have the "best sex ever" with. (Jessica officially filed divorce papers on Friday.) The site reads, "Are you sick of seeing the train wreck that is Britney and Kevin? Sign the K-Fed Up Petition, grab your Divorce Kevin gear™ and help Britney remove the boil that is Kevin from herself and her payroll!"

Friday, December 16, 2005

Secret Star Scientology Base Uncovered

TOM CRUISE spent weeks in the desert "shooting skeet" and studying Scientology scrolls at a top-secret California hideaway, The L.A. Times reports today in a fascinating investigation of the high profile cult. Among the juicier bits are reports that the staff was ordered to plant an "emergency meadow of wildflowers" one night so that Tom could run through it with his then-girlfriend, NICOLE KIDMAN. "'We were told that we needed to plant a field and that it was to help Tom impress Nicole,' said a former group member, who spent the night pulling up sod so the ground could be seeded in the morning." As creepy "Ripley's" TV host JACK PALANCE would say, "Believe IT! or NOT?" Read the full article here.

Or for a "South Park" explanation of what Scientology is, click here to watch the "Tom Cruise in the Closet South Park Scientology Episode."

TomKat's NY Birthday Bash

Last Friday, The Almighty Tom treated KATIE HOLMES to a Noo Yawk shopping spree at yummy boutiques Barneys, Donna Karan, Ralph Lauren, Miu Miu, and Chloe for her 27th birthday before heading to toy emporium FAO Schwarz, which was, of course, closed to the non-believing masses by the time the Cruise contingent – consisting of Tom's parents, and his kids, CONNOR and ISABELLA – arrived around 9:30 p.m. The toy store was ready for them, People mag reports "festooned with balloons tied to small white tiger dolls and 7 foot-tall stuffed giraffes." But here's the best part: "The real show was put on by Tom and his pregnant fiancée, with both of them performing on top of the store's giant piano (remember TOM HANKS in "Big," anyone?). The couple were jumping, bouncing, trying to tickle out a tune on the ivories. At one point, Tom DID A HANDSTAND." Oh Tom, you fun-loving goof!

WEEKEND UPDATE: Free Willie! And the Tomkat fun just doesn't stop! The two were reportedly spotted Friday in Miami, chilling "Big Willie Style" with WILL SMITH and JADA PINKETT SMITH. The foursome schmoozed and partied all weekend at club "Snatch" and elsewhere before heading to Y-100's "Jingle Ball" Concert, where People mag reports, "After two songs, Will brought out his wife and their daughter WILLOW, 5, as well as CHERYL ROMERO, whom he described as a woman 'who had a tough time this year.' He handed her several gifts, then said, 'I have another Christmas present for you and the audience. I want to bring out someone who has never been to Miami before: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.'" Tomkat then greeted the cheering crowds and said, "I'd like to wish you all a happy holiday and Merry Christmas and just a great year." Yes, and don't forget to take your vitamins, folks!

For more "Great Moments in Tom History," click here.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

New for Christmas: The Katie Holmes Robot Doll!

Just pull her string and she'll love you forever! When asked if she would ever make a film with her psycho-squeeze, TOM CRUISE, KATIE HOLMES replied, "Obviously, I would be honored to work with Tom. But right now, I love loving Tom."

BONUS PIC! Does dating Tom ruin your looks? Katie before (above) and now (orange coat)!

Marc and J.Lo: When Couples Start to Look Alike

Hmm, so exactly who is the girl in this pic? MARC ANTHONY and JENNIFER LOPEZ still won't admit they are husband and wife, or wife and wife as the case may be, but they are shooting a movie together in New York called "El Cantante," about the birth of salsa dancing. Bundle up, Marc-ecita, it's chilly outside!

Heath Ledger: The New K-Fed?

While "Dawson's Creek" cutie MICHELLE WILLIAMS nurses their newborn MATILDA, born just Oct. 28, at home, her baby daddy HEATH LEDGER was out partying with newly single LEO DICAPRIO, and his "pussy posse" LUCAS HAAS and KEVIN CONNELLY along with a bunch of models Sunday night at ROCCO ANCAROLA's party at New York's One. Take it from BRITNEY, Michelle, don't let that man-gina step outta line!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Ellen's Guests: Crack-Ups or Just on Crack?

Celebs do the weirdest things on ELLEN DEGENERES' show, and not the scripted, publicist-friendly kind of weird Hollywood stuff you'd expect. We're talking -- ANNA NICOLE-on-crack weird. Example: DENNIS QUAID seemed like a semi-normal but cute over-the-hill star, until he performed last month with his band THE SHARKS. There he was, singing loudly and off key and jumping up and down onstage in his BARE FEET. But apparently that wasn't weird enough, so he suddenly leaped off stage and ran through the audience with his guitar -- BAREFOOT.

We could have overlooked that momentary weirdness, if not for the fact that a few weeks before, PAM ANDERSON guested on "Ellen" and discussed her duet with BRYAN ADAMS. (Definitely weird.) After tugging at her itty bitty sweater several times, Pam offered to "dance" along to the song, and jumped up and started doing SOMERSAULTS in 4-inch stiletto heels across the stage and jumping around like, well, kinda like a blond orangutan. (Or a Playmate with the IQ of an orangutan.) Anyway, if you happen to notice any other weird Ellen appearances, keep us posted!

Monday, December 12, 2005

The New Thing in Bling

Bedazzled neck braces! Glamazon BROOKE BURNS showed off her jewel-encrusted neck support at a Playstation event hosted by ex BRUCE WILLIS over the weekend. The 'North Shore' actress fractured her neck last month while diving into a backyard pool.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

2 for 1: Matt & Ben-Aff-ner Fun

So, so wrong yet so, so funny! New dad BEN AFFLECK is being heckled drive-by-style by a crazed neighbor, according toStar magazine. Someone in an SUV has been driving by Ben and JEN's house daily and hollering, "J.LO is much hotter than Jennifer Garner!" and "Your wife is a slut!" The 'Armageddon' star is so fed up he's looking for a new house for Jen and new baby VIOLET. And who can blame him? Duh! Everyone knows "J.Lo" is so five minutes ago. She's "Jenny from the Block" now, people!

Hey, maybe they can shack up with Ben's main squeeze, MATT DAMON, and his new wifey-poo. While Ben flew to the sunny Turks and Caicos Islands to get hitched to his pregnant honey, Matt wed his fiancé, former Miami bartender LUCIANA BOZAN, on Friday at the oh-so-romantic New York City Hall. Did we mention that Luciana is knocked up too? Is there anything these boys don't do together?

Thursday, December 08, 2005

America's Next Top Poo-Wearer!

While NICOLE LINKLETTER was celebrating her win for "ANTM" last night ... somewhere, in a London park, a flock of pigeons, laugh and wait...

and elsewhere the diva-licious JANICE DICKINSON cackles, "I'll get you, TWIGGY! And your little dog too!"

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Nicole Richie + Wedding = Over! But New Year's Is Still On

UPDATE: They may have split (see below) but NICOLE RICHIE and DJ AM are still planning to spend New Year's Eve together in Miami at South Beach hotspot Mansion. A close friend says they are both bringing their posses and "AM is still hoping for a reconciliation."

Yesterday we reported that, apparently, the trendy thing to do in Starletville is celebrate your engagement with a blowout bash and then call off the actual wedding. That's exactly what NICOLE RICHIE, 24, and her fiancé, ADAM "DJ AM" GOLDSTEIN, 32, announced they're doing today. The decision is mutual," their rep says. So will Nicole keep the $75,000 pink sapphire and diamond ring? Or was this just a big publicity stunt by her and PARIS to promote that turkey "The Simple Life 4"? Genius!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Paris Has a New Enemy: Mary-Kate Olsen!

Are you ready for Team Olsen vs. Team Hilton? MARY-KATE OLSEN is finally dishing the dirt on partygirl PARIS HILTON. "Paris and I always only had nice things to say about each other," the "Full House" waif says. "Now I guess you can tell we're not talking." Paris has been toting around her new Greek boytoy, STAVROS NIARCHOS, since September when he split with Mary-Kate. Now the thin-mint twin is telling her sad tale to W magazine for its January issue. She claims she unwittingly introduced the two, never thinking the meet and greet would turn to public face-sucking. "I miss him and I love him and I don't speak with him anymore. It's a hurtful and painful subject," she says of the breakup (no doubt sucking on a ciggie and a double espresso at the time!). So who will win this battle of the billionaire bobble-heads? We can't wait to find out! The hot ish hits stands Dec. 23!

Lindsay Lohan's Mystery Illness and 'Kong' Spoilers!

Official "It Girl" LINDSAY LOHAN bailed out of REGIS and KELLY this morning complaining of "food poisoning." Funny, she looked foine at last night's NY premiere and after-party for "King Kong." Case of that 24-hour monkey pox, perhaps? Or maybe that celeb nose flu that’s been going around? Speaking of 'Kong,' we saw the flick last night and um, wow! Monster madness! It's basically an 8-year-old boy's wet dream, featuring epic battles between T-rexes, giant cockroaches, man-eating flobber worms, vampire bats and, of course, that big, furry ape. NAOMI WATTS is great, but JACK BLACK? We couldn't stop giggling. Avoid the vente lattes before you go. This is 3 hours of non-stop action.

Note to Jen Aniston: Keep Your Top On!

Hey, we can't blame JENNIFER ANISTON for wanting to expose her breasts in her own backyard. If I had a rack like that, I'd flash them more than that "freakin' genius" ANNA NICOLE SMITH! But if you're world famous and have paparazzi stalking your every move like Jen does, you might wanna stop sunbathing topless. Or at least stop suing photogs from snapping shots of your two best "friends." Jen lobbed a suit against shutterbug PETER BRANDT last Friday for allegedly shooting her with a telephoto lens from half a mile away. For those of you keeping track, this is not the same guy who scaled a neighbor's 8-foot wall and shot her sunbathing topless in her backyard a couple years ago, or the guy who strolled into her bungalow last year and spooked her assistants before tearing off down the beach. No, the message here is clear. If you wanna see Jen's ta-tas you're going to have to pay big bucks (or at least pay for dinner) -- like VINCE VAUGHN and everyone else.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Adam Sandler to Become Real Big Daddy

Goofball ADAM SANDLER is officially a grownup. He announced that he and his wife, JACKIE, are expecting their first baby, due next spring, People magazine reports. The one-time "Opera Man" and "SNL" funnyman, 39, married the 31-year-old model in Malibu, CA, back in June of 2003, and since then they've parented two beautiful bulldogs: MEATBALL and MATZOH BALL. Alas Meatball, who was the ringbearer at their wedding, passed away last year. So naturally a human replacement has been in the works! Here's hoping (a) they name the baby Little Nicky and (b) Sandler doesn’t go the way of the unfunny RAY ROMANO.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Jessica Simpson Draws a Blank, Danny Calls Angelina a 'Man-Stealer'...

... and more from tonight's Big in '05 Awards. JESSICA SIMPSON had her "chicken or tuna?" game face on (see left) as she accepted an award for Biggest Dumb Blonde. (Just Kidding!) Actually, she won for "Big Stylin'," and made a funny about her mom teaching her to match her "scrunchies to her socks." (Her mom was her date too.) "It Girl" winner LINDSAY LOHAN dedicated her award to "the paparazzi," because "being big in '05 means getting in three car crashes in one year, people." While professional train wreck DANNY BONADUCE called out ANGELINA JOLIE on her home-wrecking ways. Danny was overheard on the red carpet saying: "Here's what I think -- Angelina is a man-stealing bitch! She's like, 'I will collect movie stars' husbands and kick them out in the street because I'm Angelina Jolie.' Don't get me wrong, I'd do her," he said, before remembering his poor, long-suffering wife standing beside him. "But I wouldn't marry her." Nice save, Danny! The craptastic show airs at 8 p.m. tonight on VH1.

And oh wait, who are these hotties? None other than "America's Next Top Model" rejects BRITTANY, LLUVY and "I have a flesh-eating Virus" MICHELLE. Think TYRA's exit from modeling left a hole in the industry, bitches? God don't like ugly!

Dennis Rodman's New Look

Wearing a blonde mohawk, red lipstick and fake eyelashes longer than TAMMY FAYE's, DENNIS RODMAN signed copies of his new tell-all, "I Should Be Dead By Now" at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, FL. Hard to believe the NBA won't take him back ...

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Even Oprah Didn't Buy the TomKat LoveFest

OPRAH WINFREY is finally speaking her mind on what she really thought of Big TOM's lovestruck leaps for joy on her couch this summer. WENN news reports that she said, "I was just trying to maintain the truth for myself because I couldn't figure out what was going on. I was not buying. That's why I kept saying 'You're gone, you're really gone'."

Worse for Tom, he won't get to use his precious new sonogram machine on KATIE-Kat if the American College of Radiology has its way. He told Babwa Walters he bought the device so he could do his own sonograms of their baby. (Run, Katie, Run!) "This is a patient safety issue," said Dr. Carol Rumack of the ACR's Ultrasound Commission. "Untrained people, even if they have the financial means, should not buy, or be allowed to buy and operate, ultrasound machines which are, in fact, medical devices and should not be used without a medical indication."

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Paris's Next Pet? A Tiger!

The Hilton heirhead's obsession with small, furry animals just wont' stop! As reported by The Great Perez Hilton and others, first, she stepped out with various Chihuahuas, then a white ferret and finally a kinkajou, a kind of tree-dwelling varmint that allegedly went wild in a lingerie store and nearly ripped the heiress to shreds! Well, yesterday in NY, she told "The Insider" TV's PAULA FROELICH that for Christmas she wants a "miniature tiger." "They only get like, 100, pounds. They're cute," she said. Pet tigers are hawwtt! Just ask "Siegfried & Roy"'s ROY HORN!