Friday, June 30, 2006

Da Chronic Has Made Woody Crazy!

"Cheers" bartender and hemp clothing fan WOODY HARRELSON wrapped his joint-stained hands around a paparazzo's neck and choked him last night and the incident was all caught on tape, thanks to! The incident happened around 11:30 p.m. outside the nightclub Element in Hollywood, CA. According to TMZ, the Wood Man was leaving the club when a photog began videotaping him. When he refused to stop, Woody approached the shutterbug and said, "I've asked you to stop, are you going to stop?" The dude replied, "Not when you ask me like that." Then it was on like Donkey Kong! The video reportedly shows Harrelson breaking the camera and the picture going dead.

See the
video here

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Friday Funnies! Jessica Alba Trashes Her 'Girl of Summer' Title

I officially have a "girl crush" on JESSICA ALBA after seeing her on "The Showbiz Show" last night trashing her "Girl of the Summer" title (from Entertainment Weekly) and generally cursing up a storm. She even takes a few stabs at evil hobbit DAVID SPADE. Hey, what's not to love?

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Thursday, June 29, 2006

Harper's Editors 'Horrified' by Britney's Hair; America Horrified by Harper Cover

Faster than you could say "Miss Clairol," BRITNEY SPEARS dyed her hair brown after fans blasted her matted blonde extensions and general hillbilly appearance on the recent "Dateline" interview. Us Weekly reports a source said, "She pulled out her extensions and bought a bottle of dark hair dye. She didn't understand her image problem until the negative feedback about Dateline." Didn't understand it? Aii-yeesh! She then chopped her hair into a short bob, unfortunately forgetting that she had a photo shoot last week for fashion magazine Harper's Bazaar, which is featuring her on an upcoming cover. Well, don't mess with fashionistas, honey! When Spears showed up at the cover photo shoot last Friday with her new look, the style Nazis were reportedly "horrified." In a tizzy, stylists for the shoot ordered triple espresso caramel frappuccinos and in their highly caffeinated state decided to add brunette extensions to the Bride of Federline. She actually looks hot as a brunette! If only she could keep her damn clothes on.
Related News:
My Brush with Britney
Is Britney Really the 'Simpsons' Hillbilly?
Damage Control for Britney!
Oops! Britney's Baby Goes Boom
Britney Hires Midgets for K-Fed

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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Jamie Gets His Freak On at the BET Awards

JAMIE FOXX got a little R.KELLY at the BET Awards last night, planting a sloppy, wet, porn kiss on his duet partner, American Idol FANTASIA BARRINO. I'm pretty sure violating an American Idol like this is a felony in some states, although CLAY AIKEN has probably done worse. You might want to throw acid in your eyes after checking out this next shot ...

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Hell Hath No Fury Like Candy Spelling's!

I didn't think it was possible to feel sorry for heir-head TORI SPELLING, especially after seeing "Scary Movie 2," until I read that she found out about her father AARON's death from a stroke last Friday through a text message. "A friend of mine had seen a TV report and e-mailed me, 'I'm so sorry. I just heard your father died.' And I was just in total shock," Tori says in the new Us magazine on stands Friday. "My first thought was, 'I can't believe my mom didn't call me!'" Mom and daughter have been feuding like alley cats since pops became ill and Candy reportedly took up with a new gent, an old "family friend." But a text message?! That's colder than SHANNEN DOHERTY's panties, sister!

Related News:
Tori: Knocked Up?

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Marilyn Manson: Softie at Heart?

Goth rocker MARILYN MANSON enjoyed some down time with one of his favorite Disney characters at the "Pirates" premiere...

Awww. Wouldn't you know that inside every little black-lipstick-wearing, Cure-loving Goth is a kid who just wants to go to DisneyLand?

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Answer: It's Jesse McCartney!

Turns out Vanessa was overjoyed to see teen hottie JESSE McCARTNEY on MTV's "TRL." He was pushing his new single, "Right Where You Want Me." But dang, Vanessa! Play a LITTLE hard to get, wontcha?

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Related News:
TRL Scurries to Avoid Jessica/Vanessa Catfight!

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Monday, June 26, 2006

Johnny, Meet Johnny

JOHNNY DEPP came face to face with his animatronic double at DisneyLand's newly revamped "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride this past weekend. Johnny's "Cap'n Jack Sparrow" and Captain Barbossa join the original, herky jerky scalliwags on the surreal boat trip, which officially reopens to guests on June 26 at Disneyland in Cali and on July 7 in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World in Fla. "Pirates 2: Dead Man's Chest" opens in theaters July 7. Can't wait! Check out the trailer below...

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Sunday, June 25, 2006

Nic Tries Hubby No. 2

NICOLE KIDMAN married KEITH URBAN Sunday in an Australian blowout with NAOMI WATTS, RUSSELL SPENCER, my boyfriend HUGH JACKMAN, that guy from CROWDED HOUSE and plenty other kangaroo huggers in da hizzay. She looked like a princess in her empire-waisted Balenciaga gown and white veil. It was actually a one-shouldered gown which is a nice twist on the traditional bridal design.

I really do hope it works out for Nic this time and that the new Mr. Kidman doesn't hit the crack pipe like before. Crack is wack! Just look what that shit did to beyootiful WHITNEY...

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Just for Kicks: Knock, Knock, Um, Gator Gram?

Tired of snacking on fish and wayward joggers, a six-foot South Carolina alligator decided to make a housecall last week ...

Neighbors think the rascally reptile was attracted to the home by the smell of "chicken teriyaki" grilling in the backyard. But after no one answered, he sadly slithered on back into the wild. Later, alligator! (Full story here).

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Friday, June 23, 2006

Friday Funnies: Connie Chung Sings Oh So Badly

You may want to plug your ears for this one! CONNIE CHUNG is no KATHARINE McPHEE but that didn't stop her from screeching "Thanks for the Memories" after her weekend show with hubby MAURY got cancelled. Connie told MSNBC that she usually sings at fundraisers and charity dinners but this was her first time on tape. Notice how the piano player's hands move, but no sound comes out ...

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Ahoy, Ye Scurvy Mates! Pirates Ahead ...

New photos of "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" have just surfaced and the movie is looking better and better ...

The JOHNNY DEPP extravaganza opens July 7th, and catches up with lovebirds Will (ORLANDO BLOOM) and Elizabeth (KEIRA KNIGHTLEY) just as they are arrested on their wedding day for aiding the escape of Johnny's Capt. Jack Sparrow. Will must find Captain Jack and get him to hand over his mysterious compass that will supposedly rid the world of pirates! Arrgh, ye read right, maggots! Unfortunately, the fey Jack is stranded on an island of cannibals who have made him their god (hence the wiggy eye makeup). He also owes his soul to Capt. Davey Jones and is in danger of being eaten by a kraken, which is apparently nowhere near as fun as it sounds. More pics here on

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Is This the New Nicole Richie?

Now I ain't one to gossip, but KATE BOSWORTH showed up at the "Superman Returns" premiere last night in Hell-ay looking like a stiff breeze could carry her away. You can count the bones in her chest!

She then tried to make herself look thicker by standing next to co-star PARKER POSEY. Skeletwin powers, activate!

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Nicole's Cruising to the Altar

NICOLE KIDMAN is celebrating her 39th birthday with -- a wedding! The saucy Aussie has flown down to Australia and announced plans to wed her country cutie, KEITH URBAN, sometime this weekend, according to Us magazine. She even announced to the press, "We have come home to celebrate our wedding with our family and friends." So now the burning questions are: Who will design the CHANEL spokesbabe's dress? Is there enough security on the continent to keep invited exes RENEE ZELLWEGER and KENNY CHESNEY from tearing out each others' throats? And will TOM and KATIE attend? Stay tuned ....

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The Ugliest Bag Ever? (And the Purse Isn't So Great Either)

Sufferin' Succotash! Here's NICKY HILTON debuting her new "Tweety Designed by Nicky Hilton" handbags, part of a cushy deal she made with Warner Bros. to rehab the cartoon canary brand. Call me a birdbrain, but I just learned today that last year was the "Summer of Tweety," according to this oh-so-helpful press release.
Last summer was the "summer of Tweety," as Tweety flew into two of fashion's hottest, trendsetting retailers, Kitson in Los Angeles and SCOOP in New York, with exclusive collections boasting refreshed artwork treatments that were redesigned and embellished with a modern twist. This launch sent Tweety into the upscale fashion scene -- recreating the character as a modish and trendy icon.

Modish and trendy, eh? Sorry, but this bag is just fugly, if you ask me!

Related News:
Attack of the Giant Handbags!
Friday Funnies: The Devil Wears Prada!
Bruce Willis' Pimp Suit
Kill the Stylist! Star Fashions Gone Wrong

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Finally, A Star Couple That Makes Sense...

Yep, that's JIM CARREY and JENNY McCARTHY holding hands at the Santa Monica Airport. I can actually see these two going the distance. She's kind of like the Harry to his Lloyd, if you catch my drift ....

More Freaky Star Hookups:
Ryan Seacrest and Teri Hatcher
Pam and Kanye
Kristin Cavallari and Nick Lachey
Dominic Monaghan & Evangeline Lilly

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Monday, June 19, 2006

'Aquaman''s Variety Hoax

Funny that on the same day "Variety" reviews the new "Superman Returns" (calling it "sensitive" of all things), a giant two-page ad appears inside the magazine's cover boasting of a super stellar $116 million movie opening for "Aquaman." "Aquaman"? Nope, you didn't miss the biggest blockbuster of the summer. In fact, there is no such movie celebrating the underwater marvel. The ad is an inside joke to fans of "Entourage," HBO's ongoing series about a fictional up-and-coming boy wonder actor named Vincent Chase (played by ADRIAN GRENIER) and his Hollywood pussy posse. Last season, the young Vince was cast as Aquaman, and on last night's episode, the made-up movie finally opened to huge b.o., sending his agent Ari (JEREMY PIVEN) into a salivating frenzy. The brilliance of the "Variety" ad is that it never gives away the joke, and even lists real-life uber-director JAMES CAMERON as its maker.

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Friday, June 16, 2006

Friday Funnies and Fashion! The Devil Wears Prada

I'm positively drooling to see the fashion flick "The Devil Wears Prada," starring MERYL STREEP as an icy fashion mag editor and ANNE HATHAWAY as her hapless 20something assistant. One of the perks of her job is Anne gets a key to the coveted couture closet of "Runway" magazine if she can just keep from poisoning her boss's soy lattes. (trailer above) "Entertainment Tonight" has been doing some awesome pieces on the flick, opening June 30th, and its designer looks! The costumes are all by wacky "Sex and the City" stylist PATRICIA FIELD, who says that for Miranda's uber-bitch look, she dressed Meryl in BILL BLASS, DONNA KARAN and, of course, PRADA. Anne gets transformed from Gap gopher to Fifth Avenue goddess in CALVIN KLEIN, DOLCE & GABBANA and CHANEL, including a fab pair of black leather hip-high boots. Let the catfights begin!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Britney's Mr. Burns Impression Scares Me

The BRIDE of FEDERLINE is sitting down with MATT LAUER at 9 p.m. Thursday on NBC to talk up her "amazing" marriage and this is a sneak peek. Not only is her hillbilly outfit and fake wig disturbing but what is she doing with her hands? It's a little too close to ...

Am I right?

Related News:
My Brush with Britney
Is Britney Really the 'Simpsons' Hillbilly?
Damage Control for Britney!
Oops! Britney's Baby Goes Boom
Britney Hires Midgets for K-Fed

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Daryl Hannah Out of Her Tree

There's nothing funnier than an actress up a tree and that's exactly where DARYL HANNAH was today until she was arrested and charged with trespassing by LAPD this afternoon. The "Kill Bill" assassin has been squatting 40 feet up a walnut tree to help protest a developer's plan to bulldoze a community garden in the middle of downtown L.A.'s concrete jungle. Most of the farmers of the 14-acre plot are Spanish immigrants, some who have toiled more than 10 years on the land. But last month they were evicted (they don't own it, you see) -- and that's when the hippie actresses moved in! It took several of L.A.'s finest to remove Daryl and her pals using a cherrypicking crane. Seems to me that if the land is so important to Daryl, couldn't she just buy it for the farmers?

Nerd Alert! Screech's Giant Shlong And Urkel Lives

I always thought DUSTIN DIAMOND had a porn-star name and now it turns out the "Saved by the Bell" geek has the equipment to go with it. TV's SCREECH was a guest on HOWARD STERN's radio show this morning and confessed that he is more than a little well-endowed, measuring a solid 10 inches when not aroused. He says his large girth makes it nearly impossible to wear condoms, which are inevitably too darn "snug," and that in high school he endured a lot of locker-room teasing for his large member, so much so that he refuses to use public urinals even today. Despite his obvious porn-star potential, Screech's last paying gig was fighting "Welcome Back, Kotter"'s HORSESHACK (RON PALILLO) on "Celebrity Boxing 2" (2002). He now lives in Wisconsin, has bad credit, and says that is about to lose his house because of a bad business deal. Worse yet, TIFFANI THIESSEN has blocked him from IM'ing her on AIM, he jokes. Won't you help Screech? LOL. He's selling T-shirts to raise money on his Website

In other news, Urkel is alive and well and partied at the Marquee club with JEREMY PIVEN, HILARY DUFF and more B-list stars in NYC last Thursday. I mention this because last week a crazy rumor surfaced on the Web claiming that "Family Matters"' beloved four-eyed geek was found dead of an apparent suicide. If anything, Urkel has never been more hot. He's even starring in BEYONCé's new movie 'Dreamgirls' with JAMIE FOXX and EDDIE MURPHY this fall. But the real question, of course, is, how well does Urkel stack up in the trouser dept.?

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Monday, June 12, 2006

Britney Brags About Her Awesome Mommy Skills

Thanks to a connected friend, I just spent the weekend at the amazing St Regis Monarch Beach resort near Laguna Beach, CA, where a certain "Toxic" mama was also shooting a new photo layout with her baby, SEAN PRESTON. Yep, it was BRITNEY, who as you might have noticed is trying to rehab her image as a white-trash, baby-dangling hillbilly. She tells People mag that hoodrat KEVIN is not "sleeping in the basement" as some tabloids have reported and that her marriage is "awesome." Awesome? In any case, I met a guest at the hotel who is 7 months pregnant and had a brush with the Britster during her stay. She says Brit offered her parenting advice and bragged that, "the first baby is always hard," but now she's an "old pro" at raising kids. The shocked guest politely held her tongue!

Here's the pool view from The St. Regis

Related News:
Is Britney Really the 'Simpsons' Hillbilly?
Damage Control for Britney!
Oops! Britney's Baby Goes Boom
Britney Hires Midgets for K-Fed

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Sunday, June 11, 2006

Denise Richards: Don'tcha Wish Your Mom Was a Skank Like Me?

Get a load of DENISE RICHARDS out in Las Vegas Friday night as a special co-whore, I mean, co-host of "The Pussycat Dolls." I love how this chick thinks! Sure, she just had a baby a year ago and she's accusing hubby CHARLIE SHEEN of being a drug-addicted porn-star murderer who shouldn't come within 300 feet of their babies. But, hey, that doesn't mean she can't go out in public dressed like a $3 floozie if she wants to!

Related News:

Denise and Richie Share Kiss, Bad Dancing

Friday, June 09, 2006

Friday Funnies: David Hasselhoff's 'Secret Agent Man'

Check out "Baywatch" stud and German pop sensation DAVID HASSELHOFF singing "Secret Agent Man" in this campy, $2, "James Bond"-inspired music video. (My fave bit is when he flies across the screen using his top-secret, super-duper jet pack!) Watch out, WILLIAM SHATNER! David could be upstaging even you here.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Answer: It's Janet!

Do the arches reprezzent her love for Da McGriddle? (MMM, McGriddle....) Or is it simply a savvy marketing scheme? Note to advertisers: You too can rent space on JANET JACKSON's rack! Simply contact her mini-pimp, JERMAINE DUPRI. (Y'all know who dis is, right?)

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Baby Shiloh Pics! (Try to Act Surprised)

Freshly borrowed from, here's the official SHILOH JOLIE-PITT portrait. Lots of bloggers posted a similar shot leaked by Hello! magazine Wednesday and the blood-sucking lawyers came out in force! Hello!, People and Getty Images, the photo agency which sold the picture's rights, are even seeking damages (i.e.: $$$) from sites that illegally reproduced it. So don't sue me: People, Hello! or Getty. It's on newsstands tomorrow! Sheesh.

Related news:

Brangie's Baby Drops, World's Ills Cured
Angelina's Dad Begs to See Shiloh
Are Brangie the New Taliban?

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Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Big Pimpin' With the Pivert!

The Council of Fashion Design Awards is a hoity toity event in NYC in which fashion's biggest flamers trot out their most atrocious outfits and try to suck up to as many celebrities as they can. Having said that, I'd kill to go! Yet somehow JEREMY "The Pivert" PIVEN wound up with my invitation to host (and my future husband TERRENCE HOWARD). Along with ...

LINDSAY LOHAN with her date, The Vampire Lestat (aka designer KARL LAGERFELD).

JANET -- Miss Jackson, if you're nasty!

And assorted coked-out models with too much side cleavage...

"Dude, did you get their numbers?" "Yeah, you know it!"

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Russell Crowe: Jerkus Maximus?

A fascinating glimpse of life inside Maximus Crowe's world (dinner with KEVIN SPACEY, concerts at his private "farm") is recounted by reporter JACK MARX in Australia's "Sydney Herald." Jack talks about how the "Cinderfella" woos gossip columnists and others to write puff pieces about him and then throws temper tantrums when he doesn't like how things sound. He also talks about the infamous "phone-throwing" incident in which Russell threw a hotel phone at a NY concierge because he couldn't reach Australia from his room phone. Later, he waged a "nice guy" campaign to cover it up. Jack writes:

"It was during these times that I saw evidence of something that made me wince -- Crowe's bizarre propensity for nickel-and-dime media manipulation. It seemed Russell was running his own parallel, one-man PR fix-it campaign. He'd go through the daily papers and call journalists in person, chastising them for perceived inexactitudes. There was nothing morally corrupt about this, but I found it a silly pastime for a man of his stature. Sometimes it did him no service at all."
Read the whole story here.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Who's Been Snooping in Teri Hatcher's Closet?

First, the RYAN SEACREST smooching scandal and now this! Can't TERI HATCHER catch a break? A NYC socialite named JULIE MACKLOWE stepped out to the Council of Fashion Designer Awards last night in a red-and-white striped frock suspiciously similar to the Desperate Housewife's ensemble. She even reads this site -- Hi, Julie! Oh, and watch your back, Teri!

Monday, June 05, 2006

Brangie Grants Shiloh Baby Photo While Depressing Millions

UPDATE: Today, baby SHILOH's photo was splashed across the Internet after it was leaked from someone at Hello magazine. I'd show it here but the lawyers for Time Inc., who paid $4 million for it, are clamping down and going after whoever posts it!

ANGELINA JOLIE and BRAD PITT are officially as much fun as the Taliban. Yesterday the dour twosome, in what should have been a happy announcement, said they were going to release a photo of newborn SHILOH to Getty Images, a worldwide photo agency that supplies newspapers and other media with pics, for an undisclosed amount. They even said they would donate the money, which had been estimated at $5 million, to a charity. But lest anyone get excited about the news, they added this completely crushing fact: "While we celebrate the joy of the birth of our daughter, we recognize that two million babies born every year in the developing world die on the first day of their lives. These children can be saved, but only if governments around the world make it priority." I ask you, will these two ever lighten up?

Related news:

Brangie's Baby Drops, World's Ills Cured
Angelina's Dad Begs to See Shiloh

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Sunday, June 04, 2006

Awkward Star Moments at the MTV Movie Awards

Poor JORDAN BRATMAN has to have a drink just to look at his wife CHRISTINA backstage.

Who needs hunky NICK LACHEY when you can date your DAD, right JESSICA?

Me-oww, BROOKE HOGAN! 13 going on 35 with two kids and a double-wide?

KATE HUDSON's been shopping in the Kiddie Dept. again.

Oh, no, who invited STEVE-O?

Are Jake and Natalie Dating?

Busted! But aren't they cute? NATALIE PORTMAN and JAKE GYLLENHAAL were all smiles as they lunched at the Spotted Pig in NYC.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Friday Flashback! Madonna Sings 'For the Very First Time'

Remember back in the '80s when MADONNA was tone-deaf and had baby fat? Well this will take you back ...

Thursday, June 01, 2006

New Evidence of Hauntings at 'The Shining''s Stanley Hotel!

Last night on the season finale of SciFi's "Ghosthunters," the team spent two days wiring and videotaping the famous Stanley Hotel in Colorado (scene of STEPHEN KING's "The Shining"). What they caught on video is nothing short of chilling! At around 5 a.m., team leader JASON was awakened when his closet door opened by itself and then, seconds later, a glass on the nightstand next to his bad SHATTERED. He was alone in the room and turned the video camera on the closet door, which minutes later, closed itself! This was all caught on video, although it hasn't been posted on their site ( yet. (If anyone taped it and uploaded to YouTube let me know!) Also, across the hotel, GRANT and two other investigators witnessed a table and chair "jump" up in the air while Grant was sitting there. Afterwards, he was shaking so badly, he could hardly load his camera. In case you're not familiar, these guys go out and try to debunk hauntings using video and audio recordings and their knowledge of plumbing (they're Roto Rooter guys by day!). Read more about this classic spooky episode here.

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